I sit at my bedroom desk…
And give myself a little pep talk.
Melissa
This is it, Melissa.
Melissa
No more being an awkward mess any time a boy talks to you.
Melissa
It’s time to get some skills.
I type “how to talk to boys” into my search engine…
And scroll through the results…
Until one catches my eye:
“Click here to practice your flirting skills…”
“With our state-of-the-art BoyBot.”
I have no idea what a BoyBot is…
But I’m certainly curious.
I click the link and am presented with a blank video-chat window.
As I peer at it, I’m startled by a female voice.
Voice
Using our cutting-edge artificial intelligence technology…
Voice
Your BoyBot will be so lifelike…
Voice
That you won’t be able to tell he’s not real.
Melissa
I’ll be the judge of that.
Voice
At the end of your session…
Voice
You will be asked to rate your experience.
Voice
Press “connect” when you are ready.
A red button with the word “connect” on it…
Appears in the chat window.
Melissa
I could definitely do with the practice…
Melissa
But why do I get the feeling…
Melissa
That this is going to be more humorous than helpful?
I click the button and readjust myself.
Voice
Connecting you with your BoyBot in three…two…one.
And my eyes bulge out of their sockets…
Because the figure on the other side of the screen isn’t a BoyBot at all.
And he’s one of the most handsome boys I’ve ever seen.
He looks just as surprised to see me…
I look away in embarrassment.
Melissa
I think there’s been some kind of mistake.
Melissa
I was supposed to—
Boy
You were supposed to be connected to a BoyBot?
Boy
I was expecting to be connected to a GirlBot…
Boy
But they’ve just connected two regular people together…
And in a moment of realization…
We burst out laughing at the same time.
Melissa
We’ve been totally tricked.
Boy
I guess this is one way to get people to overcome their fears.
Boy
They pretend they’re setting someone up with an AI partner…
Boy
But then they actually partner them up with a real person.
Melissa
I’m kind of annoyed.
Melissa
It’s not fair at all.
I try to feign mild outrage…
But the slight grin on my face…
Gives away that I’m secretly happy to be connected with him.
Boy
I’m Andy, by the way.
Andy
You don’t seem like you have any trouble talking to boys.
Melissa
You don’t think I’m an awkward mess?
Andy
I mean, you have a quirkiness about you…
I try to stop the grin that wants to spread across my face.
Melissa
Why do you need help talking to girls?
Melissa
I mean, have you seen yourself?
Andy gives me a wry smile.
Andy
I guess I’ve always been a bit of a lone wolf.
Andy
I’m usually kind of shy and insecure…
Andy
But…something about you really puts me at ease.
Andy
Could it be that we’ve both been overthinking it all this time?
Andy
I mean, we’re all just people at the end of the day.
Andy
Maybe we’ve been making it hard for ourselves for no reason.
Melissa
Maybe you’re right.
Andy
Well…it seems that even though we were duped…
Andy
We’re cured of our awkwardness.
Andy
I can talk to girls…
Andy
And you can talk to boys.
Andy
I guess we should go off…
Andy
And use our new skills.
I’m sure my expression reveals…
That I don’t want the call to end.
My eyes dart back and forth…
As I try to think of a way to keep talking to Andy.
But I can’t think of anything quickly enough.
Andy
Well, it was nice meeting you, Melissa.
Melissa
It was…nice meeting you too, Andy.
Andy
Good luck finding the right boy for you.
Andy
He’s going to be very lucky.
I open my mouth to wish Andy good luck in finding the right girl…
But I just can’t bring myself to say it…
And the truth comes spilling out of me instead.
Melissa
I can’t let you go like this.
Melissa
I know I might be making a fool of myself…
Melissa
But I’m going to go ahead and do this anyway.
Melissa
I came on here to learn how to talk to boys…
Melissa
But the thought of talking to boys isn’t that appealing to me anymore.
Melissa
I mean, it’s not that I don’t want to talk to boys, period…
Melissa
It’s just that there’s…only one boy I really want to talk to…
The fact that Andy is smiling at me gives me a sense of reassurance.
Melissa
I would love to continue talking to you…
Melissa
If you…feel the same way about me.
I wait with bated breath…
As my heart pounds away in my chest.
But Andy just continues to smile at me.
When he doesn’t respond at all, I furrow my brow.
I move my head from side to side…
Melissa
Andy, can you hear me?
I assume that the picture is frozen…
But that isn’t the case at all…
Because Andy’s arms have slumped to his side like a rag doll…
Voice
Thank you for using BoyBot Andy.
Voice
Please remember to rate your experience.
