Raquel thought she was done with chemistry when she left high school.
But for whatever reason the University required all communications majors to fulfill a science requirement.
(Which she put off until her final semester as a senior.)
Every Wednesday like a mini Hell for her, as she sat through those endless labs
Daydreaming about how drunk she would get when they finally let her out.
The upside was that her lab partner Eric, a freshman studying premed, completed all of Raquel’s labs for her.
Eric
This class is a joke.
Raquel
You’re telling me. I don’t give a shit about chemistry. I should be tanning right now.
Eric
This class is easier than what I took in high school. I should be in Level 2 by now.
Easier than high school? Raquel couldn’t imagine what kind of brainiac high school he attended.
But science seemed to come naturally to Eric, and Raquel held no objections.
His brainy arrogance and awkward social skills aside, he was a really sweet kid.
Raquel wished she could repay him for all the slack he had been picking up.
Raquel
You’re into girls, right?
Raquel
Have you ever kissed a girl?
Eric
Yes I’ve kissed a girl. Becca Axelrod at sleepaway camp. Why are you asking me this?
Raquel
Just wondering. Do you have a girlfriend?
Eric
No. I don’t have time for a girlfriend. I’m very busy with…my studies.
Raquel laughed. This wasn’t meant to be a joke, but the way Eric flared up in anger always seemed funny to her.
Raquel
I want to set you up.
Raquel
Come on! Let me do this for you. You’ve been doing all the work for the two of us this semester.
Raquel
And I’m in a sorority with a hundred beautiful ladies.
Eric
I’m not interested, but thanks anyway. Can you turn off the Bunsen Burner?
Raquel walked home and thought about Eric. Why was he so stubborn?
She realized he just needed a little push. She was determined to do this favor for him.
Raquel
This freshman from our house is so perfect for you. She’s also a science geek.
Raquel
Her name is Ashley and I really want you two to meet.
Eric
I said no, Raquel. Let it be.
Raquel
We’re having a mixer on Friday at 8. Be there or else.
Eric didn’t respond, but he did show up at their sorority house on Friday.
Raquel
Ashley! This is the friend I was telling you about! Eric, meet Ashley.
Eric had tried his best to look nice, but had failed to iron his shirt, which was halftucked into his baggy jeans.
Ashley looked him up and down.
Ashley
Oh. Hi. You’re in premed, right?
Ashley
Same. But I’m dying. It’s such a hard program.
Eric
Really? I think it’s embarrassingly simple.
Eric
I feel like I’m in first grade sometimes.
Ashley
Oh. Do you want to get me a drink?
Eric
Umm, do your really need me to do that for you?
Eric
I mean, this is your house, shouldn’t you be offering it to me?
Eric
I’m just saying, I don’t know where the beverages are.
Ashely rolled her eyes before stepping away to get him a beer.
Raquel
Wow, you really do know how to offend people immediately.
Raquel
You should have offered to get her a drink, not he other way around. Seriously, get it together.
Ashley returned with two red cups in her hand.
They both sipped from their cups. It was a disgusting mixture of tequila and Sprite.
Eric spit his out immediately, spraying his cocktail all over Ashely.
Eric
What the hell is this?
Ashley
What the hell yourself! You just soaked me!
Ashley stomped off in her damp clothing.
Raquel
Okay, Don Juan, we have some work to do.
The next day Raquel took Eric to Blacy’s, the local department store, where she chose a few new outfits for him.
Eric
I look like an idiot in this shirt.
Raquel
You look adorable!
Eric
These pants are so tight I can’t feel my legs.
Raquel
Their skinny jeans, they look great.
Raquel
You’re going on a date with my friend Monica, okay? And I need you to look and act your best.
Eric
Why are you doing this for me?
Raquel
You deserve some happiness, Eric. And this is what I can offer you.
In his new outfit, Eric arrived at the pizzeria to meet Monica.
Monica
Oh my god, you look sooooo cute. Raquel didn’t tell me how cute you were.
Eric
Thanks, you look really nice yourself.
Monica
Shut the hell up I look like a disgusting seacow with blubber arms.
When their pizza arrived, Monica was sure to grab the first slice. She topped it with parmesan and hot sauce.
Monica
I know what you’re thinking, I look like a repulsive fat slob, right?
Monica
But I can’t help myself, I’m like a slave to pizza, lawl!
Eric
No, I wasn’t thinking that.
He went in for a slice, but Monica slapped his hand.
Monica
No! That’s my side of the pie! Stay on your own.
Eric tried making light conversation with her throughout the meal, but everything seemed to go back to Monica.
Monica
When I was ten I got locked in a girls bathroom for three hours, isn’t that hilarious?
Monica
Sometimes I steal candy bars from Target just to see if I can get away with it.
Monica
Once I ate nothing but pizza for a year as a joke, haha.
When the check came by, Eric picked it up and asked if she wanted to split the bill.
Monica
That’s really rude. I thought you were a gentleman.
She stood up and walked out of the restaurant, grabbing a handful of peppermints on her way.
Raquel
So? Did you fall in love with Monica?
Eric
No. It was a disaster. She’s a crazy person.
Eric
I don’t want to do any more of these dates. It’s very kind, but I’m just not interested.
Raquel
Oh, come on! That was just practice. Wait until you meet my friend Audrey!
Eric
It’s a no, Raquel. I need to go change out of these pants. I’ll see you in chemistry.
Raquel sighed. Why couldn’t she find the right girl for Eric?
He was so smart, had such a dry sense of humor,
And he looked so cute in his new clothes.
He had done so much for her, and all she wanted was to do something for him. That’s when it hit her.
Raquel
Hey Eric, I know you said not to bother you again, but I have one more girl I want you to date.
Eric
Not gonna happen. Tell your friend Audrey sorry.
Raquel
It’s not Audrey. But it’s a perfect match. Please, come to the sorority house tonight at 6.
Raquel
You won’t regret it.
This was the last thing Eric wanted to do. He had a chem lab he needed to finish.
Of course, Raquel would be the one who would suffer if he didn’t complete it, so he obliged.
When he got to the house, it felt like no one was home.
The lights were off and their were candles lining the path to the kitchen.
He could smell cooked food as made his way to the kitchen. There was soft music playing.
Raquel was sitting alone at a table set for two. She was in a modest dress, but looked prettier than ever.
Eric
Where’s my mystery date, Raquel?
Raquel
Look, I know I’ve put you through a lot, and you kept asking me why.
Raquel
And I didn’t know why I wanted to set you up so bad, until today.
Raquel
Don’t you see? We have chemistry together, Eric. Chemistry!
Raquel
Have dinner with me, please. And I’ll show you how good we are together.
Eric sat down, and they ate.
It was perfect chemistry.
