Extra Credit - Episode 1
by Prabha Kannan
Ugh, I hate being in a lecture hall when I don’t have to.
I know, but this is for extra credit. And you need it to graduate, baby.
Jordan groans.
It’s messed up that I need to graduate just so I can work at my dad’s lumber yard.
Mark Zuckerberg didn’t need to graduate college to start Facebook…
But apparently, I need a diploma to cut wood.
Look, I know you don’t want to work with your dad.
Correction. He doesn’t want to work with me.
He’s only hard on you because he loves you. You know that.
We all love you. That’s why I’m being hard on you, too…
It’s why I’m dragging you here for this extra credit assignment!
Jordan laughs and leans in for a kiss.
Just then, their friends Clay and Tamara join them.
Clay immediately props his feet on the desk.
He stretches his arms out and rests his hands behind the back of his head.
Get a room, lovebirds.
Tamara pushes her glasses up the bridge of her nose.
Then she clasps her hands together nervously.
Are we late? Did it start yet?
Nah. Professor Dumbface isn’t even here.
It’s Professor Dunwallace! And he’s the most brilliant mathematician of this century.
You hot for the old guy, Tamara?
Shut UP, Clay.
What’s the rule again? If the professor shows up 15 minutes late, we all get A’s?
Jessica looks back at Clay. She’s tucked neatly under Jordan’s arm.
How would you know? You never even go to lecture.
I don’t have to. My father got Dumbledore an incredible bottle of scotch.
Tamara pushes back her glasses again.
It’s Dunwallace! Why are you here, Clay?
Didn’t you already get an A?
Jordan takes his arm off of Jessica’s shoulder to spin his whole body around.
He stares at Clay, a look of shock stark on his face.
Clay got an A?!
Yup. Like I said, it was an INCREDIBLE bottle of scotch.
He takes his feet off the desk in front him.
Leaning forward, he wiggles his eyebrows.
I’m just here to see if Jess finally spills the beans.
Clay, stop!
Spill the beans about what?
It’s nothing, honey. Don’t worry about it.
She gives Jordan a quick kiss.
Smirking, Clay raises his eyebrows again.
Nothing?? I wouldn’t say it’s nothing.
Guys, stop! Professor Dunwallace is here.
You mean Dingleberry.
Shut UP, Clay!
Jordan turns to Jessica. He tucks a strand of her hair behind her ear.
Jess, what’s he talking about? Spill the beans about what?
Don’t worry about it, Jor.
It’s nothing.
She gives him a stern look.
Really.
Tamara clasps and unclasps her hands nervously.
Shh! Professor Dunwallace is talking.
Welcome! I see you’ve all formed your teams of 4. Good, good. Very good.
Clay leans over and whispers in Tamara’s ear.
Good, good. Very good.
Clay, stop being so disrespectful!
I’m not! I love Professor Dimplebutt.
This is meant to be a fun extra credit assignment. I have three brain teasers.
If you get them all correct, then you can turn one test grade into an A.
I will write them on the board. You have thirty minutes.
Jordan squeezes Jessica’s hands, murmuring to her under his breath.
That’s all I need to pass this class and graduate.
We got this, love. I won’t let you down.
Suddenly, Clay pops his head between the couple.
He looks at each of them, swiveling his head from side to side.
Haven’t you already, though?
Okay, what are you talking about, Clay?
Don’t you know?
Clay, I swear to god, if you say even one more word…
What? What’ll you do, Jess?
Shut up! All of you!
Professor Dunwallace has already written the first riddle on the board. See?
She pushes her glasses back and then points.
Up on the chalkboard, it says: “Question 1 — Its days are numbered”
Oh, I know! Jess and Jordan’s relationship!
Easy. Done. Should I ask Professor Dimwit for the next question?
What’s going on? Jess, is there something you need to tell me?
No! It’s nothing.
We were broken up. It’s not a big deal.
It’s actually not even a small deal. It’s no deal.
Uh-oh…Jess, are you worried you said too much there?
What do you mean, “We were broken up?”
Did you cheat on me when I was in Spain?
I didn’t cheat on you! You were studying abroad.
You were the one who said we should “press pause” for the semester.
So “press pause” means “screw around?!”
Woah. It was NOT screwing around — we were on a break!
Oh, this is good. Front row seats to the fight, baby!
Shut UP, Clay! Can you guys “press pause” on this fight so we can get this riddle solved?
Yeah, sure, Tamara. Sorry. You’re right.
I’ll “press pause” so we can focus on this extra credit…
Jess will “press pause” and screw the next guy who comes around, isn’t that right?
I can’t believe you, Jordan. You wanted to break up, and now you’re pissed at me?
Besides, we’d only been dating, what, five weeks?
Weeks! That’s it. It’s a calendar!
What are you talking about?
“Its days are numbered.” He means a calendar!
Seriously, you’re focused on the extra credit? We’ve got drama right in front of us!
Jordan needs the credit, Clay. I’m just trying to help.
I don’t see you doing anything but destroying someone’s relationship.
Is it really a relationship if my girl stepped out while I was away?
I won’t let you make me feel guilty about this, Jordan. I didn’t do anything wrong!
Who was it anyway? Was it that jerk Martin?
No! Just drop it! We need to move on to the next question. It’s up on the board.
Look, “Question 2 — You need this for courage and hardcover books.”
Hmm, courage. Like, Jess must have had a lot of courage to sneak around with Dylan. Was it Dylan?
Ha! Jordan, are you planning to guess every guy in the school? This is gonna be good.
Jordan, your grades. You need to focus. We’re all passing this class except you.
Fine! Whatever.
Let’s just get through this extra credit and then talk about it, Jordan.
You know who likes to talk? Clay does.
It was you — wasn’t it, Clay?
Was my best friend hooking up with my girl?! YOU’RE SPINELESS!
Dude, relax. I was in Spain with you the whole time, remember?
Spineless! That’s it!
A spine is needed for courage and hardcover books.
Write it down on our answer sheet.
Okay, the last question…it says that it’s a code for us to crack: YYURYYUBICURYY4ME
Well, that settles it. I’ve just flunked out.
Cheer up, mate. At least you know I didn’t sleep with your girlfriend.
Was it Forest? Hunter? Colt? Ridge?
Wood? Tree? Rake? Leaf?
Focus!! We need to get this so Jordan can graduate!!
Why do you care so much anyway, Tamara? You don’t even like Jordan.
Wait, what? Tamara, you don’t like me?
What did I do to you?
I don’t NOT like Jordan.
Jess is my best friend, and Jordan makes her happy.
That’s why he needs to graduate so he can stay with her.
Instead of DITCHING her, the way he did when he just ran off to Spain.
Are you kidding me, Tamara?!
Tamara—
Ran off to Spain? I was studying Spanish!
What was I supposed to do?
Tamara—
You didn’t even call her when you were gone.
Did you expect her to sit around and wait for you?
Tamara—
Oh, my God. It was you!
You’re the one who hooked up with Jess when I was gone.
WHAT?! THIS IS SO HOT I CAN’T EVEN TAKE IT!!!
Shut UP, Clay!
Jordan, it didn’t even happen when we were dating.
And it was just once, really. Promise.
But I don’t get it.
Are you a lesbian? Are you bi?
That’s not the point.
What happened between Tamara and me…
It was exactly that — something that happened between the two of us.
You and I were broken up, and I don’t owe you an explanation.
Jessica reaches out and clasps Jordan’s hand.
The point is that now, I want to be with you, Jordan.
Tamara and I don’t want to be together.
That’s why she’s here — to help US be together.
Jessica squeezes Jordan’s hand.
And I want to be with you.
I love you, Jordan.
That should be good enough for you.
Jordan holds Jessica’s gaze for a moment before he nods his head once.
It is. God, you’re right. It is.
I love you too, Jess.
Seriously? That’s all I get? No more drama?
Shut UP, Clay! Don’t you see that everyone else here wants them to be together?
Besides, we have to help Jordan graduate. We’ve only got a minute left!
YYURYYUBICURYY4ME. What does it mean??
No way. If the show’s over, then I’m out. Besides, this was too hard for me.
Clay, you're a genius!
I am?
I mean, of course I am!
“Too hard for me.” FOR ME. Get it? 4ME?
Yes! And you can say “YY” like “two y’s.”
That sounds just like “too wise!”
Jessica grabs a pen and decodes the final question.
Too wise you are, too wise you be, I see you are too wise for me. YYURYYUBICURYY4ME.
Tamara rushes up to the front of the room with their answer sheet.
Professor Dunwallace, we got it!
The professor looks down at the paper.
Yes, that’s right. Well done!
That means I can graduate!
Immediately, Jordan turns to Tamara.
Thank you. Seriously. We couldn’t have done it without you, Tamara.
Thanks for having my back. And um…for being a good friend to Jess.
Tamara nods once.
You’re welcome.
Listen, could you ladies please describe—
Jordan rolls his eyes and clasps his friend on the shoulder.
I think we'd better get you out of here until you chill out.
He steers him out of the room.
Once the boys are gone, Jessica turns to Tamara.
I’m so sorry that happened. You said you weren’t ready to come out yet…
It’s okay. I don’t think they knew.
I don’t think so either.
And I don’t even get how Clay knew something was up in the first place.
He’s oddly perceptive for such a dimwit.
Look, I AM sorry for the other thing too.
That I chose Jordan.
Jess, you weren’t the only one who didn’t think we should be together.
What?
I mean, no offense, but you’re REALLY not my type.
Jessica clutches her hand to her chest in mock offense…
And then they laugh so hard it erases all the tension of the day.
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