Outraged, I step backward into the hallway.
Martha
You are SUCH a pig!
Martha
I’m not wearing any of those…those sex clothes!
Trevor has the audacity to laugh.
Trevor
They’re not sex clothes!
He reaches into the box and holds up a pastel blue crop top.
Trevor
They’re just clothes that have been forgotten.
Trevor
Clothes that attract a guy like me.
Trevor
AND a guy like Drew.
I frown in frustration and shake my head, looking away.
Trevor
Come on, Martha, this stuff is in great condition!
Trevor
And I never had sex with them while they were WEARING these clothes.
I look over to see him pouting comically.
Then I eye the blue crop top.
I’ve always wanted to wear something like that…
I stomp in and grab the shirt from his hands.
Then I bend down to try and find something to go with it.
I look up and see him grinning smugly.
Martha
Stop smiling like that!
He reaches in and holds up a pink thong.
Martha
I’m not wearing anyone else’s nasty underwear!
Trevor bursts into laughter as I snatch up a skirt from the box.
I head into his bathroom to change and slam the door.
I get dressed quickly before I can think too much about what I’m doing.
Luckily, everything fits.
My voice is deadpan when I walk back into the room.
Trevor turns and his eyes widen.
He blinks a few times as he looks me over.
Then his playful grin is back in place.
Trevor
Now that’s what I call playing up your assets.
His compliment embarrasses me and warmth floods my cheeks.
Trevor must notice because he says…
Trevor
Man, you sure blush easily.
His playful grin turns wicked.
Trevor
You may want to turn away.
Martha
TREVOR! What the heck!?
I spin around and face the wall.
It’s too late — the image of his “you-know-what” is in my head.
Trevor
Sorry, couldn’t resist.
Trevor
You’re way too easy to fluster.
Martha
Just shut up and get dressed already!
Martha
And let me know when it’s safe to turn around.
Trevor
It’s just a little nudity.
Trevor
Nothing you haven’t seen before.
Trevor
And as you probably saw, I have nothing to be ashamed of.
I hear him buckling his belt loop so I turn back around.
He’s right, I’m flustered.
Martha
Well I have nothing to compare it to so I wouldn’t know!
I say stupid things when I’m flustered.
He pauses while putting on his shirt.
He looks at me, his eyes wide.
I can see the question on the tip of his tongue.
But there’s NO WAY we’re talking about this.
I am absolutely NOT telling Trevor Holt I’m a virgin.
Even though he’s probably guessed it.
I decide to flee before I can humiliate myself further.
Martha
I’m going to put my clothes in my room.
Ten minutes later, I’m in the passenger seat of his sports car.
Despite the earlier awkwardness, I’m feeling a bit more relaxed.
Dare I say, giddy about the night to come?
Trevor
Okay, I need you to remember three things.
Trevor
THREE simple things are necessary to get a man’s attention.
Martha
I’m listening, Mr. Expert.
Trevor
Number one: make eye contact.
I turn my head slowly and stare at Trevor in silence.
After a few moments, he turns to look at me.
Trevor
Geez, not like that you creep!
Martha
Come on, I know all about eye contact.
Martha
What’s the next thing?
Trevor
Number two: smile at him.
Still feeling giddy, I grin widely, making sure all my teeth are showing.
Now he barks out a laugh.
Trevor
You look like the Grinch.
We laugh together this time.
Trevor
Number three: find casual ways to touch him.
Trevor
A quick hand on the arm…
Trevor
A light touch on the bicep…
Trevor
He’ll know what game you’re playing if you do that.
I slump in the seat, the giddy feeling fading a bit.
Martha
I don’t want to play games.
Martha
I want him to take me seriously.
Trevor parks the car, then looks over at me.
Trevor
This is Drew we’re talking about here.
Before I can get defensive, he’s out of the car and opening my door for me.
As I step out, I make eye contact with him.
I smile gently and graze his arm with my fingers.
Martha
Thank you, Trevor.
Martha
Thank you for helping me.
He stares at me quietly for a few moments.
I’m beginning to think I did it wrong, but then—
Trevor
I think you’re ready.
We walk up to the door and I can already hear the loud music.
Suddenly, I’m panicking again.
Who do I think I am going to a party like this?
I’m so nervous I drop my phone.
Trevor picks it up off the ground and shoves it in his pocket.
Trevor
We’re going in, butterfingers.
He puts his hand on my lower back and leads me inside.
We — Trevor, I should say — are greeted enthusiastically by our peers.
Especially our female peers.
God, can they be any more obvious?
They’re practically undressing him with their eyes.
I’m ripped from my thoughts by Trevor’s next words.
Trevor
What’s up everyone!? This is my girlfriend…Martha.
