OLIVIA
Your brat asleep yet?
OLIVIA
Come on. Answer. I am boooorrrrrreeeeeddddd!
OLIVIA
BOOORRRREEEDDDDDD!!!!
OLIVIA
Why r u ignoring me?
OLIVIA
I can see you watching TV in the Curtis’s living room.
OLIVIA
Answer me, dammit.
MCKENNA
OMG, psycho. What?
MCKENNA
As – apparently – u can see.
OLIVIA
Look across the street. I’m on the second floor. See the light flashing?
MCKENNA
That’s the Carpenter’s bedroom?
MCKENNA
Are u going through their stuff?
OLIVIA
I always do. Don’t u?
MCKENNA
I’m not a degenerate.
OLIVIA
Ur missing out. The Carpenters are into some freaky shit.
MCKENNA
What are you holding?
OLIVIA
And there’s leather panties.
MCKENNA
Yuck. Mrs. Carpenter wears that?
OLIVIA
No. They’re dude panties.
MCKENNA
Bullshit. Guys don’t wear panties.
OLIVIA
There’s room for his junk.
MCKENNA
I don’t want to think about Mr. Carpenter’s junk.
OLIVIA
Why not? He’s hot. I’d let him whip me.
MCKENNA
Ur revolting. No wonder everyone says ur a slut.
OLIVIA
God. What’s up ur hole?
MCKENNA
Sorry. Took forever to get the kid to bed. He watched Candyman on Netflix. Couldn’t get him to calm down after.
OLIVIA
Why? That movie isn’t even scary. I think he wanted to stay up cause he has a crush on u.
MCKENNA
Though I did catch him looking down my shirt.
OLIVIA
They hit puberty and turn into horny little pervs that’ll do anything for a look under the hood.
MCKENNA
And 4 the record.. U begged me to sleep over.
MCKENNA
When we watched Candyman. U were scared shitless.
MCKENNA
You pissed yourself.
MCKENNA
Lie to yourself all u want. I know the TROOF.
OLIVIA
Like u weren’t scared.
MCKENNA
I didn’t wet myself like an infant.
OLIVIA
Like when Ben Farmer asked u to prom. U threw up and hid in the locker room for an entire period. Not scared like that not scared?
MCKENNA
God, ur such a c-word. U promised u’d never bring that up.
OLIVIA
OMG. Would u just write cunt?
OLIVIA
Better. And I’m sorry.
OLIVIA
I’ll never bring it up again.
MCKENNA
Too late. We R not friends.
OLIVIA
Don’t be drama queen.
OLIVIA
Come on. I’m really sorry.
OLIVIA
PLS. PLS. PLS. PLS. PLS. PLS.
OLIVIA
U know I’m not going to stop, right?
MCKENNA
Fine. Just shut up.
MCKENNA
How late was Lyndsey up?
OLIVIA
She goes down at 9:30. Sharp. I don’t take any shit.
MCKENNA
Wish Anthony was like that.
OLIVIA
It’s ur fault. U have 2 be hard on him. Show him who’s in charge.
MCKENNA
He’s a kid, psycho. Not an inmate.
OLIVIA
Ur too soft 2 B a real babysitter.
OLIVIA
Please. Ur a total sissy.
MCKENNA
We just established U pee at scary movies.
OLIVIA
One time. And I’m way tougher than u.
MCKENNA
Being a bitch to everyone including ur BF does not make u tough.
OLIVIA
Let’s see who’s tougher. Go to the bathroom.
OLIVIA
U remember what happened in Candyman when they said his name in the mirror 3 times?
MCKENNA
That’s horse shit. It’s a movie.
OLIVIA
I know. But Chip Halfhill told me another one.
MCKENNA
Bloody Mary? Even more lame.
MCKENNA
Chip Halfwit is a moron.
OLIVIA
True. But he said this works. We’ll do it at the same time. OK?
OLIVIA
Come on. It’ll be fun.
OLIVIA
Yay. Go to a bathroom.
OLIVIA
Turn out the light.
OLIVIA
Turn on the hot water. Let it fog up the mirror.
MCKENNA
What exactly is supposed to happen after we do this?
OLIVIA
The ghost of a serial killer shows up and kills u.
MCKENNA
And Chip said he did it?
MCKENNA
How is he still alive?
OLIVIA
He said he outsmarted the ghost and tricked it back into the mirror.
MCKENNA
Of course he did.
OLIVIA
Is the mirror ready?
OLIVIA
Draw an upside down pentagram and an upside down cross on each side.
MCKENNA
Chip is srsly deranged.
OLIVIA
Now write the name Samuel backwards.. LEUMAS.
MCKENNA
I can spell. This is so stupid.
OLIVIA
Chip said it has to be backward because the killer’s in the mirror and he comes when he sees his name.
MCKENNA
Why r u friends with that idiot?
OLIVIA
Because he’s hilarious. And he really believes shit like this.
OLIVIA
Now, look at yourself in the mirror and say MURDER ME 3x.
MCKENNA
I’m not doing that.
OLIVIA
I did. Don’t tell me I’m the one that gets scared. Ur a total sissy.
OLIVIA
You can’t even have a cute guy ask u out without hurling.
OLIVIA
Holy shit. I can’t believe you did it.
OLIVIA
No. That’s crazy. I would never do anything Chip told me to.
MCKENNA
U TOTAL BITCH. I HATE U.
OLIVIA
LOL! I can’t believe you did it.
OLIVIA
Oh, relax. I was screwing with u.
MCKENNA
I’M SERIOUS. FUCK OFF.
OLIVIA
Oh, please. U know u still love me.
OLIVIA
They say u shouldn’t go to bed angry.
OLIVIA
Oh fuck. R u upstairs?
OLIVIA
Srsly R U upstairs?
OLIVIA
THERE’S SOMEONE IN THE LIVING ROOM.
MCKENNA
Im done with you, Olivia.
OLIVIA
I SWEAR TO GOD. HE’S COMING UP THE STAIRS.
OLIVIA
GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE HOUSE. PLEASE. I AM NOT KIDDING.
OLIVIA
MCKENNA HE HAS A FUCKING KNIFE. IM CALLING COPS.
MCKENNA
Worst friend ever.
OLIVIA
ANSWER YOUR PHONE DAMMIT. GOD KENNA WHAT DO I HAVE 2 DO 2 MAKE U BELIEVE ME?!
OLIVIA
I CALLED 911. MCKENNA, PLEASE. I AM SO SORRY. U HAVE TO LISTEN.
OLIVIA
HE’S COMING. LOCK YOURSELF IN THE BATHROOM. RIGHT NOW.
MCKENNA
I’ll never believe another word u say bitch.
OLIVIA
HE’S RIGHT OUTSIDE THE DOOR.
OLIVIA
I AM SORRY. SO SORRY. PLS LISTEN TO ME. PLS. PLS. PLS.
OLIVIA
ANSWER ME GODDAMMIT.
