Today I committed social suicide.
It happened at cheerleading tryouts.
Some would say I had no business being there.
I’m dorky, basically tone-deaf…
And I’m not exactly brimming with pep.
But I have a major crush on the quarterback, Danny Gold…
And I wanted to get his attention.
The tryouts are kind of a social event at our school.
Everyone gathers in the gym to watch…
And the football team gets a front row seat.
I went to stand in line with the other hopefuls at 3:00 sharp…
Dressed in our school colors of blue and white…
And this is where my nightmare began.
Marcy
Alright everyone, spread out!
I smile at Marcy as I pass by.
She’s the most popular girl at school, and the cheer captain…
So I need to get on her good side.
We don’t have much in common.
She gave me a “what the heck are YOU doing here?” kind of face.
But I’m not going to let it get me down.
I refuse to let her intimidate me.
Because I’m here for a reason.
I look over at the bleachers to get one more look at Danny.
I’ve looked at him like, 100 times already…
So I’m shocked to see that this time, he’s looking back.
He gives me a small wave.
We’re friends, Danny and me.
He’s in the advanced classes, like me.
But I want to be more than the nerdy girl who sits to his left.
I want to be the sexy and fun cheerleader.
So when Marcy does this weird hand-cup clap to get our attention…
I look away from Danny and get focused.
Marcy
We’re going to start with dancing.
Marcy
I’m going to show you a simple eight-count routine.
Marcy
Follow along as soon as you get the steps.
This is the part I’ve been dreading.
And it’s hard for me to find a beat.
I watch Marcy perform the eight-count routine.
It’s a blur of twists and swivels and bouncing feet.
She ends on a spin and high-kick, then turns to face us.
Marcy
Let’s see what you got, ladies!
Other girls on the team continue dancing the eight-count…
While Marcy circles around, judging us.
I have no choice but to move.
I jerk my hips, tap my feet, and high-kick with the rest of them.
The problem is, I’m about two seconds behind.
And all the spinning is starting to make me dizzy.
So I put all my effort in.
I spin so hard and so fast…
All of a sudden, I’m on the floor.
I scramble up and do the kick.
The problem is, I didn’t realize how close I was to the girl on my right…
And I hit her when my leg comes down.
She cries out, and I hear a bit of laughter from the crowd.
Horrified, I look over at Marcy.
She glares at me, then walks away.
I eventually get the dance right.
But I’m worried it’s too late.
I need to make up for it.
So when I hear that gymnastics are next…
I may not be the best dancer…
But I’ve been tumbling since I was four years old.
I know I can impress them…
Hopefully enough to make up for my high-kick mishap.
So I rush to stand in line…
And start stretching my legs.
Marcy
Okay, so to make the team…
Marcy
You need to at least have a cartwheel.
Marcy
Who’d like to go first?
My hand shoots in the air.
My chance to not only impress Marcy…
He smiles and gives me a thumbs-up.
Marcy
We don’t have all day—
Before she can finish her sentence…
I start with an aerial cartwheel.
Then I do a split-leap into a round-off…
Followed by four back handsprings.
I do a fifth handspring walkover style, and end in a split.
When I finish, I’m smiling from ear to ear…
Because the crowd is roaring their approval.
But she’s not smiling or clapping.
Marcy
You need a tampon, girl!
Her words don’t register right away.
But when the crowd starts to go silent…
I get a terrible feeling.
That terrible feeling morphs into abject horror.
There’s blood on my white shorts…
And a good amount of it, too.
All that flipping didn’t do me any favors.
My breathing turns ragged.
I just got my period in front of the entire school.
His face is full of surprise…and pity.
Large tears form instantly.
And I do the only thing I can do.
I cover the front of my shorts…
I’m sobbing by the time I get to the locker room.
Thankfully no one’s in there.
I rush to my locker and grab a tampon.
But I don’t even have a pair of extra shorts…
So when I’m done in the stall…
I grab a towel and cover my lap.
Then I sink to the floor and bawl my eyes out.
I’ll never live this down.
My life as I know it is over.
I have no chance of being a cheerleader.
And now I have no chance with Danny.
Why oh why did I wear white shorts?!
I hear the locker room door open…
And I quickly wipe my face.
Coming to deliver the bad news that I didn’t make the team.
I don’t look up when the footsteps approach.
But the sneakers I see look very familiar.
I gasp and raise my head.
It’s not Marcy — it’s Danny.
And he’s holding out a pair of his shorts.
Danny
I had a backup pair in my locker.
Danny
I figured you might need them.
Still in shock, I slowly reach out and take them.
But I can’t get myself to speak.
He sits down on the bench in front of me.
I cover my face with my hand.
Sophia
I don’t think I’ll ever be okay again.
Danny
That was crazy, by the way.
Sophia
More like mortifying and humiliating…
Sophia
And every girl’s worst nightmare.
Danny reaches out and forces my hand away from my face.
I look up and into his perfect brown eyes.
Danny
I was talking about the gymnastics.
Danny
You’re crazy talented!
Sophia
No one’s going to remember that.
Danny
I had no idea you did gymnastics.
Danny
Come to think of it…
Danny
I had no idea you wanted to be a cheerleader.
I bang my head once against the locker.
Sophia
I shouldn’t have tried out.
Sophia
I was just so tired of being the nerdy girl.
Sophia
I wanted to be cool and sexy.
Sophia
So you would finally notice—
It’s pretty clear what I was about to say.
Apparently, one nightmare a day isn’t enough.
Danny hasn’t said anything.
And his silence feels so loud…
I adjust my towel and start to stand…
But he puts a hand on my arm.
Danny
Do you know why I’m in AP French?
I close my eyes, unable to look at him.
Sophia
Because you’re smart?
He laughs, and comes to sit beside me.
Danny
It’s not my best subject.
Danny
Would’ve been easier if I just stayed in the regular class.
Danny
But I worked extra hard so that wouldn’t happen.
Sophia
I don’t understand.
With a finger, Danny lifts my chin so I’m looking at him.
Danny
I did it because I knew you were going to be in it.
Danny
And I wanted to have as many classes with you as possible.
Danny
What I’m saying is…
Danny
I already think you’re cool and sexy.
Danny
And I think you’re smart and funny, too.
Danny
I’ve been trying to build up the courage to tell you that.
My heart — which was laying in the bottom pits of my stomach—
Grows wings and flies into my throat.
He laughs, and pretty soon I’m laughing, too.
Sophia
And it’s been for a while now.
He grins from ear to ear…
Danny
So, if I asked you to dinner tonight…
Now it’s me who’s grinning like a fool.
But he holds onto my arm.
Danny
You should probably change first.
Sophia
Oh, right. Thanks.
So yeah, I committed social suicide.
But this turned out to be my best. Day. Ever.
