Professor
Hey Sue, it’s Professor Edwards
Professor
Scary stuff, huh?
Professor
We should regroup and talk about it
Sue
Your name’s Professor EDMUND
Professor
Pfft I knew that
Professor
It’s my name after all
Sue
I know you’re the Devil
Professor
That’s a crude thing to say
Professor
Or are you joking?
Professor
It’s a humorous joke
Professor
They’re attendance sheets, dear
Sue
I know what they are, I’ve seen them before
Professor
I never dismissed class, Sue
Professor
Don’t make me punish you
Sue
What did you do to them, Devil?
Devil
Yes, it is I, your Devil
Devil
They’re never coming back, Sue
Devil
Their fates are sealed
Devil
Soon you’ll join them
Sue
Yeah, I’m thinking no to that deal
Devil
You wouldn’t know a good deal if it bit your nose
Devil
I offered you good grades, friends, money and candy
Sue
I went through high school without your help
Sue
I can do college just the same
Devil
You’re only IN college because of me!
Devil
Your soul was to be payment
Sue
Until you changed the terms
Sue
You chose to prove you were Devil
Sue
Well, congratulations! I don’t doubt it
Devil
You miss Claire, don’t you?
Devil
I can reunite you two if you sign
Devil
I can bring back your entire class if you sign
Devil
Is your soul worth more than ALL of your classmates’?
Sue
Why must you torment me?
Sue
So I didn’t sign your stupid contract, why do you care?!
Devil
A Devil is only as good as he is tough
Sue
So this is to send a message?
Devil
Once I have your soul, I’ll be redeemed in Hell
Devil
I know. I don’t know why I bother
Devil
I had dreams of being so evil
Devil
But the fiends of Hell don’t think so
Devil
My wife doesn’t even speak to me anymore
Sue
But would my soul even make a difference?
Devil
It would make all the difference
Devil
With your soul, my effort would’ve paid off
Devil
I’d have redeemed my honor
Sue
I’ll sign if you let me stay here
Devil
Pen and parchment beside you
Sue
I didn’t say I’d sign yet
Sue
You have to promise I’m not going to Hell
Devil
That’s not how it works
Sue
Just tell all your demon friends, “Hey!”
Sue
“I got her soul but she was so scared, I took pity on her and let her stay”
Sue
“but here’s her signature so you totally know she signed”
Devil
Hmm they wouldn’t be the wiser
Sue
They’ll commend you for your mercy
Sue
You get your contract, but I keep my soul
Sue
And you also return my class
Devil
You drive a hard bargain
Devil
Sure you don’t want to work for me?
Sue
Sorry, I have life and stuff
Devil
Sure, but if you ever change your mind, I’ll be waiting
Sue
But no more stalking me
Devil
I swear it, dear Sue
Sue
Alright then, I signed
Sue
I saved your reputation!
Devil
All will know it as I lead you to Hell in shackles!
Sue
We had a deal! You promised!
Devil
What deal, dear Sue?
Devil
A text does not a deal make
Devil
Of course I did, I AM THE DEVIL
Devil
I’LL SEE YOU IN HELL!
