Bill
Dude you’re not going to believe what I found!
Ted
It’s three in the morning, cut the shit out. I was just in the middle of a good dream.
Bill
I saw this green flash burst in the sky and when I looked outside I thought I saw something falling in the sky. Like a plane or something.
Bill
So I ran outside and followed the smoke path into the forest. It’s huge!
Bill
Not sure, I haven’t gotten close enough yet. I had to text you first.
Ted
I don’t think you should stay there too long, I’ve watched enough Sci-Fi movies to know that you are just one wrong step away from being abducted and probed.
Bill
Just get here now! We gotta take all the video and photos we can so we can sell them for big $$
Bill
Dude it’s so huge! Half of it must be buried underneath the ground. I wonder where the door is?
Ted
Maybe you should just call the cops or the government and get out while you still can.
Bill
Get out?!? Are you nuts! This is our chance to become famous! This thing is so cool. It’s just like the movies, sleek and glowing. I wonder what it runs on?
Ted
I don’t know and I really don’t want to find out.
Bill
Stop being a pussy and come out here. I’m giving you a chance to share in this fame. Become a legend with me.
Bill
Dude! I found the entrance, this is too cool. OMG, the insides are nothing that you would imagine.
Ted
You really should stop. What if you let whatever is inside of there out and it wreaks havoc on the earth!
Bill
It doesn’t look like there is anybody here. Just all this alien equipment. Just think of all the money we can gain from this stuff.
Bill
The science behind it must be thousands of years more advanced.
Ted
Dude, you really shouldn’t be tampering with this stuff. You could open some kind of worm hole or vaporize yourself.
Bill
If you don’t come within the next twenty minutes, I’m going to learn how to fly this thing and abduct you myself.
Bill
Shit wouldn’t that be cool! Way better than a sports car, and I bet it has a tractor beam or something.
Ted
You sure there is nothing on board?
Bill
Not that I’ve seen. Maybe it’s a drone of theirs or something. Like they’re spying on us from a far.
Bill
Hell yeah I do. Look at this.
Ted
I don’t see anything. Just a big colorful blur.
Bill
Shoot it’s probably some kind of jamming device. What if they are spying on us? We gotta know the enemy’s plan! Come here and help me decipher it.
Ted
You think they’re hostile?
Bill
I hope not, but think of all the engineering stuff you can learn from here. Just think of how your career will take off if you can replicate this.
Ted
It would be nice to win the Nobel.
Bill
And with this stuff you will! You will be the youngest Nobel Scientist in the world. You’ll be rich and famous! So come on, seize this opportunity.
Ted
Fine. I guess I will go.
Bill
No, no. Don’t drive. Walk or something. We can’t draw any attention. No evidence. No nothing. Just come as you are.
Ted
I should at least leave a note. What if we are abducted?
Bill
I told you no one is here, just come now!
Ted
Okay. Tell me the directions.
Ted
I’m totally lost in this forest.
Bill
You’re almost there.
Bill
Just a little closer. I’ll send out a distress sound.
Ted
Aghh turn that shit off, it’s piercing my ears. God they feel like they’re going to bleed.
Bill
That means you’re close. Just follow it.
Ted
I feel like I’m going to barf. Why do all the trees look blurry and shimmering?
Bill
Probably just your senses becoming disoriented. Just a little further, here I’ll try shinning a light.
Ted
No, no. Don’t do anything else. I think I see the spaceship. Is it supposed to be glowing?
Bill
Yeah I figured out most of the controls.
Ted
Holy crap this is real!
Bill
Told you! Now get inside so we can fly this baby.
Ted
Come outside first. I want to take a picture of this together. Then we should call the papers and get this all documented.
Bill
Boring! I’m not coming outside until we take this for a spin!
Bill
Just think of all the fun pranks we can do! Crop circles, flying cows, graffiti the Milky Way.
Bill
How great would it be to put “Ted and Bill Were Here!”
Ted
Alright. Where’s the door?
Bill
Don’t worry I’ll beam you up.
Ted
I don’t like this. I feel nauseous. I can’t move. I can’t breathe.
Bill
Don’t worry friend, it’s alright.
Ted
Where are you? What’s that hanging from the ceiling? Why can’t I move?
Bill
Don’t worry friend, it’s alright.
Ted
Why is it drooling? What the hell is up there?
Bill
Don’t worry friend, it’s alright.
Ted
Stop! STOP! What’s piercing me? What’s piercing me!
Ted
Where is Bill? Who are you? What have you done with him?
Bill
Don’t worry friend, it’s alright.
Ted
No! Don’t take me away. Don’t take me away.
Bill
Don’t worry friend, it’s alright.
