#HotNickAtTJs - Episode 1
by Alexandra Fletcher
Yo, Nick.
I’m surprised you even showed up to shoot hoops today.
Why?
Because you’re famous now!
What do you mean?
You know!
Instagram, bro!
Huh? I only put pictures of my dog on Instagram.
Dude, look at your Instagram.
Now.
Nick takes out his phone and checks his Instagram account.
Wow. I have over 3,000 direct messages!
He shakes his head in confusion.
How is that possible?
I don’t even KNOW 3,000 people.
It’s because you went to Trader Joe’s last night.
Yeah. So?
And how did you even know that?
Because now you’re a hashtag.
Some girl standing in line with you took your picture and posted it.
Jason takes Nick’s phone and types in #HotNickAtTJs.
Sure enough, a girl named KaylaCinCin04…
Has posted a picture of him spacing out in line at Trader Joe’s.
That’s you, man! Hot Nick!
Why would a total stranger do that?
Because she thought you were hot, dude!
Nick takes back his phone and stares at it in wonderment.
He reads the caption:
I was waiting in line to buy peanut butter pretzels…
And saw the hottest guy I’ve ever seen in my life.
He was wearing a soccer jersey from Regis High School.
Does anyone know this guy?
In the comments, a girl Nick knows named StacyDunnStar answers:
That’s Nick Stratton.
He’s in my chemistry class.
See? You’re internet famous!
Look at this.
Chrissy Teigen commented on you with a heart-eyed cat-face!
Nick reads a few of the direct messages he’s received.
There’s one from a producer of a local news show.
They want to interview him tomorrow.
Another message is from a producer on Ellen.
They want to fly Nick to Hollywood!
Jason reads the messages over Nick’s shoulder…
And gets really worked up.
Nick. Listen to me.
This could be the beginning of great things.
For buying groceries with my mom at Trader Joe’s?
Yes! Hashtag Nick at TJ’s is like, a real thing!
Just then Stef, Nick’s girlfriend, walks across the basketball court.
She’s holding her phone…
And she looks hurt.
What is going on, Nick?
I don’t know.
I’m trying to figure it out myself.
Why are you hitting on girls at the grocery store?
I didn’t hit on anyone, I swear!
I didn’t even know that girl took my picture.
Right. How do you think this makes me feel?
All these girls are commenting that they want to hook up with you!
They are?
Jason scrolls through the comments again, with new interest.
You’ve gotta believe me, babe.
I didn’t ask for this!
Well, what about this?
On her phone, she shows Nick a photo of himself…
With his arm around a girl he’s never seen before.
I don’t know what that is!
It must be Photoshop.
Photoshop?
Yeah, look! That’s a picture of me from my dad’s Facebook.
Photoshop or not, I just can’t deal with this.
What do you mean?
Tears stream down Stef’s face.
How can I compete with all those girls?
I’m breaking up with you before you can break up with me.
But Stef—
Stef walks off, leaving Nick speechless.
Did I just get dumped for being famous?
Yeah, bro. But don’t sweat it.
You’ve got options.
I don’t want options! I want Stef!
Nick’s phone vibrates with an incoming text.
It’s from Karl, his boss at the juice bar.
Hey, Nick. Not sure what’s up—
But there are about a hundred girls lined up outside to meet you.
They’re not buying juice.
And they’re driving our regular customers away.
Don’t come in for your shift today.
And we’ll have to see if you can keep your job.
Then Nick’s phone buzzes with another incoming text.
This time, it’s his mom.
Nick, what is going on?
All these girls are sending messages to my work email…
And they’re asking for your number!
I’m not your dating secretary.
Call me.
This is so embarrassing.
No it isn’t.
This is the best thing that’s ever happened to you!
This is the worst thing that’s ever happened to me!
I had to beg to get that job at the juice bar.
Now you can get a better job.
And a better girlfriend!
Nick shakes his head miserably.
You don’t get it. I didn’t ask for any of this.
Well, it’s too late. It’s happening.
There has to be a way to undo this.
I want Stef back. And I need my job!
Jason scratches his head, considering options.
Are you absolutely sure?
Yes!
Okay. Give me your phone.
Nick hands Jason his phone.
Jason opens the camera app.
Now make your most hideous monster face.
Nick rolls his eyes back into his head…
And pulls his nose up with one finger.
Good. Now, pick your nose.
Nick jams a finger up his nose.
Like this?
Yeah. Look like you’re enjoying it.
Jason snaps a few pictures of Nick looking his worst.
Check it out.
Jason shows Nick the photos he’s taken.
Wow. You can be really unattractive when you want to be.
Thank you.
Now post that to your Instagram with #HotNickAtTJs in the caption.
Nick follows Jason’s instructions.
Thank everyone for being so nice to you over the last 24 hours.
Okay…
But say you’re not the person KaylaCinCin04 photographed at Trader Joe’s.
That it must have been a case of mistaken identity.
Done.
Now brace yourself for the backlash.
Nick and Jason both wait a few seconds…
And then lean in when reactions start to appear.
What’s happening?
There’s a lot of scream emojis.
And cry emojis.
And disappointed-face emojis.
People are disgusted.
It’s working!
And I just got a message from the morning news.
They don’t want to interview me anymore.
I’m sure the Ellen producer will be messaging me in no time.
Nick smiles with relief.
We did it!
My moment of internet fame is over.
We sure did.
But you’re gonna regret blowing this opportunity one day.
I sincerely doubt it.
And now I need to find Stef.
App