Maria
Lillian! How many times do I have to tell you?!
Maria
Stay out of my room!
Lillian
I wasn’t in your room, calm down.
Lillian
I’m on the bus, on the way home from a field trip.
Maria
You left your creepy toy in here.
Maria
That stupid doll you found at that lame vintage shop a few weeks ago…
Maria
The one you’ve been carrying around and talking…
Maria
Because you’re a freak with no friends.
Maria
It’s sitting on my bed.
Lillian
Patricia is on your bed?
Maria
Ugh of course you’d name it something dumb like Patricia.
Maria
But yeah — PATRICIA is on my bed because YOU were in my room!
Lillian
Maria, I wasn’t in your room…
Maria
Oh what, so I’m supposed to believe a doll found its way into my room on its own?
Lillian
She’s not just a doll.
Lillian
She doesn’t like to be that…
Lillian
Her name’s Patricia.
Maria
The next time you go in my room, I’m putting your doll in the garbage disposal.
Lillian
Listen, Maria, I know this is going to be hard to believe…
Lillian
But I swear to you that I wasn’t in your room…
Lillian
Think about it — I had to leave early for this field trip.
Lillian
Was Patricia in your room this morning?
Lillian
Okay, and if I’m still on the bus on my way back…
Lillian
When would I have gone in your room?
Maria
You’re just trying to scare me.
Lillian
I’m being totally serious.
Lillian
And if Patricia is in your room, then you shouldn’t be.
Lillian
You need to get out now.
Maria
You had your chance to just confess and apologize for going in my room.
Maria
But you’re clearly trying to make this into some kind of joke.
Maria
So you can say goodbye to your doll.
Lillian
No, Maria! Don’t! Don’t touch her!
Lillian
I’m trying to save you!
Maria
What is the MATTER with you, Lillian??
Maria
I’m telling Mom and Dad when they get home.
Maria
You’ve clearly seen too many of those stupid scary movies you love so much.
Lillian
Please just listen to me for once, Maria!
Lillian
I get it — I’m just your weird, loser, little sister.
Lillian
I like horror movies and going to vintage stores…
Lillian
But I NEVER should have bought Patricia.
Lillian
It’s the biggest mistake I ever made…
Lillian
From the moment I picked her up, it was like I was…
Maria
What are you talking about?
Lillian
Patricia spoke to me…
Lillian
She told me that no one understood me like she did…
Lillian
She said that she was my friend…
Lillian
And that she wanted to help me.
Lillian
She said I could make a wish…
Lillian
And that she’d only have to do one thing to make all my dreams come true.
Lillian
Then…she told me what she would do…
Lillian
And that’s when I realized that Patricia was pure evil.
Lillian
Once I knew what she was planning, I had to get rid of her.
Lillian
I took her on this field trip with me, and threw her in the garbage at a rest stop hours away from our house…
Lillian
I swear that I’m telling you the truth. There’s no reason for me to lie.
Maria
Even though I hate to say this…
Maria
Maybe you are telling the truth.
Maria
I didn’t, but then, I came back into my room to get your doll…
Lillian
What?? What do you mean, gone??
Maria
It was on my bed, propped up on my pillow…
Maria
I went downstairs to get a pair of tongs to pick it up…
Maria
Because if you think I’m touching that raggedy, gross thing with my own hands, you’re delusional…
Maria
And when I came back to my room…
Maria
It wasn’t there anymore.
Lillian
Maria, you have to get out of the house now!
Lillian
Patricia could be anywhere!
Maria
Dolls don’t come to life and wander around the house on their own!
Maria
Do you SWEAR this isn’t some kind of joke?
Lillian
OMG, MARIA, NO, THIS IS NOT A JOKE!
Lillian
GET OUT OF THE HOUSE!!
Maria
There’s still something I don’t understand…
Maria
Why was it in my room?
Lillian
Just let me know when you’re out safely, okay?
Lillian
Then I’ll tell you everything, I promise.
Maria
Okay, fine! I’m going back downstairs now.
Lillian
What? What’s wrong??
Maria
It just tried knocking me down the stairs!
Maria
It came out of nowhere, and hit me as hard as it could on the back of my legs!
Maria
I managed to grab the banister just in time.
Maria
But it’s gone again! It came at me so fast!
Lillian
Try getting up somewhere high, where you can see it coming!
Lillian
What about the dining room table?
Maria
Okay, I’ll make a run for it!
Maria
Right in the back of my ankle!
Maria
I made it up on the table, but it got me before I pulled my leg up!
Maria
I’m bleeding…really badly…
Lillian
Call the paramedics!
Maria
Okay…but what if they don’t make it in time??
Lillian
You have to destroy her, Maria!
Lillian
Throwing her out didn’t work…
Lillian
Maybe your garbage disposal idea wasn’t so bad after all!
Maria
I called the paramedics…they’re on their way, but…
Maria
I still don’t understand. Why is this stupid thing after ME??
Maria
You said she had a plan to make all your dreams come true…
Maria
What did you want? What did you wish for??
Lillian
I wished to be you, okay?!
Lillian
That’s what I’ve always wanted! To be pretty and popular and NORMAL!
Lillian
It’s not easy being different.
Lillian
I’ve always been jealous of you.
Lillian
I’m sorry, Maria. If I had known what Patricia would do…
Lillian
I never would’ve wished for that.
Maria
I think I get it now.
Maria
She’s trying to kill me…because then you could take my spot…
Lillian
OMG, that must have been it!
Lillian
But I swear, Maria, that’s not what I want.
Maria
I think I just saw her…she’s darting around on the floor!
Maria
I’m losing so much blood Lillian…
Lillian
No, Maria, you have to keep fighting!
Lillian
The kitchen isn’t far from the dining room table—
Maria
It is when there’s a murderous doll running around on the floor!
Lillian
Maria, do it — go for the garbage disposal.
Lillian
Or at least grab a knife!
Lillian
You have to make a run for it! It’s the only way!
Maria
Okay…you’re right. But before I do, I just want you to know…
Maria
There’s part of me that’s…jealous of you, too.
Maria
You’re so much more original and creative than me…and cooler.
Lillian
What?? You think I’m cool??
Maria
Not right at this moment!
Maria
But I don’t want to die without having told you that.
Maria
You shouldn’t wish to be like anyone but yourself, okay?
Lillian
Okay…thank you, Maria.
Maria
I love you, you freak.
Lillian
I love you, too. You can do this!
Lillian
No no no, don’t be dead, please don’t be dead!
Maria
I’m alive! But only just…
Maria
I made it to the kitchen, but Patricia must have known I would head for the sink.
Maria
She was waiting for me.
Maria
But what she didn’t see…
Maria
Was me turning on the oven and opening the door.
Maria
Now I’m on the counter…waiting for her to come at me…
Maria
I dodged her at the very last minute!
Maria
And shut the oven door on her! She’s sealed her in.
Maria
She’s roasted now. Burnt to a crisp.
Lillian
You did it! Patricia is gone…thank God.
Maria
I just hope the paramedics are bringing the fire department with them…
