Louise
Why is everyone gathered around my locker?
Anna
Ugh. What is that rancid smell?
Anna
It smells like my grandfather’s feet.
Louise
That’d be Roquefort.
Louise
Roquefort blue cheese.
But I can list every variation of cheese by name.
Because people have been stuffing it in my locker for years…
And yet, only one person in this school is evil enough to use Roquefort.
Self-proclaimed most popular girl at Westford High.
Lucky girlfriend of Dylan Lynch.
But right now, Nikki is nowhere to be seen.
And a group of jocks have assumed the task of taunting me.
More students start gathering like vultures surrounding a wounded prey.
My cheeks burn when I see a picture taped to my locker.
Only they’ve swapped my head for a big piece of Swiss.
Anna
Oh, I get it. For Louise the Cheese.
Louise
You’re very insightful, Anna.
Anna
Hey, don’t get mad at me. I would never put cheese in your locker.
Louise
I know. I’m sorry.
Anna
I mean, because we’re locker neighbors.
Anna
It would be stupid of me to do that.
Anna
The smell would be just as bad for me as it was for—
Anna
Oh crap! Don’t look now, but Dylan Lynch is coming.
I swallow hard as I turn and look.
Yup, it’s Dylan with his crew of popular friends.
My chest tightens when I see his arm draped casually around Nikki.
She’s smirking at me as they walk down the hall.
And I can tell she totally planted the Roquefort.
Ugh, I’d love to wipe that smug smirk off her face.
Anna
I still can’t believe you were friends with him.
Louise
Our moms were friends.
Anna
Yeah, but you used to play with him when you were kids.
Louise
That was a long time ago.
Anna
Did you ever touch his hair? What does he smell like?
Like campfires and barbecues and laughing until my sides hurt.
I throw the moldy cheese into the garbage.
Then I shove my books into my bag and slam my locker closed.
Anna
Aren’t you going to take this picture off?
Louise
What’s the point? There’ll just be another one tomorrow.
Louise
I'd prefer to save a tree.
Anna crumples the picture up and follows me out.
Louise
Do you need a ride home?
Anna
No, Lucas and I have a date planned.
Anna
We’re going to the mall to rent his tuxedo.
I try hard to smile, but it’s like trying to smile with a lemon in your mouth.
Anna has been dating Lucas for 6 years.
And she’s going to the prom with him.
I still haven’t been asked.
Dylan Lynch asked me when we were 8.
He also asked me to marry him.
But that was before he ditched me for the cool kids.
And before he got the whole school to call me Louise the Cheese.
One little cheese incident and you get marked for life…
Anna
Why don’t you just come to prom, Louise?
Anna
Lots of people are going without dates.
Anna
We can squeeze you into our limo.
Louise
Where? Up front next to the driver?
Anna
I was thinking the trunk.
I shake my head as we walk outside.
Evan Randall, the class nerd, grins when he sees us.
Evan
Hey, Louise. Don’t worry, things will get feta.
I roll my eyes and wait for him to pass before I turn to Anna.
Louise
Ugh, even Evan Randall is making fun of me.
Louise
That clinches it. I’m the lowest person on the social totem pole.
Louise
No one will agree to go to prom with Louise the Cheese.
Louise
I’m just going to stay home.
Anna
Let me know if you change your mind.
She smiles when she sees Lucas waiting by his car.
Anna
Maybe a hunky Norwegian exchange student will show up tomorrow…
Anna
He could ask you to prom.
My life isn’t getting better any time soon.
Happily ever after’s are for the popular girls.
I say goodbye to Anna and then keep my head down as I hurry to my car.
There are empty spots in the school lot, but I always park 5 blocks away.
My car was embarrassing 30 years ago. Now, it’s just pathetic.
Plus, students would probably fill it with cheese if they knew where to find it.
I don’t want to think about how it would smell after baking in the sun all day.
I take a different path to it, away from Dylan and his friends…
But I still look over at him.
I know I shouldn’t, but I can’t help it.
Things would be so much easier if he had lost his good looks during puberty.
His body filled out. It’s all thick and muscular now.
Ugh. I don’t even want to think about it right now.
I don’t care. I hate him.
But I take one last look before I turn the corner and continue to my car.
My phone vibrates when I arrive at the ugly metal beast.
My mom’s texting me pictures of prom dresses again.
I get in the car and start it as I stare at the phone.
Should I prolong the inevitable or just go with brutal honesty?
Louise
I’m not going to prom.
Louise
I don’t have a date.
A savage scream rips out of my throat.
I hurl my phone at the passenger side door.
The force of my throw cracked the screen and now the phone won't turn on.
Could this day get any worse?
I start driving. My mind wanders from my broken phone back to Dylan.
It’s always going back to Dylan.
My brain keeps ignoring the memo that I’m not interested in him.
Why the hell would he go to prom with Nikki anyway?
He and I were supposed to go to together.
I turn on the radio to drown out the annoying thoughts in my head.
Adele is playing, so I blast the music and sing at the top of my lungs.
It isn’t long before tears are streaming down my cheeks.
I’m wiping my eyes as I turn a corner.
A biker comes out of nowhere.
I gasp as I slam into him.
He flies onto the hood of my car.
I scream as I stomp on the brakes as hard as I can.
My heart is pounding so hard it feels like it’s going to explode.
His cheek is squished against my windshield.
One of his blue eyes opens.
He looks right at me with a wince.
And I wince right back at him.
Because I just hit Dylan Lynch with my car.
