Love, Virtually - Episode 1
by Jonathan Rosen
Hey, feel like letting anyone else play today? I mean, I know you’re good, but there’s plenty to go around for all of us.
It’s not my fault if you can’t keep up.
Uh, in case you didn’t notice, I’m at a higher rank than you.
Wait, how long you been playing again?
You have to think about it? It’s not that hard of a question.
I don’t remember how long.
C’mon, you already told me once, don’t be embarrassed.
I’m not embarrassed, I just don’t remember.
Never mind, I just checked your profile. It says that you’ve been playing for close to two years, and you’re at a 55.
So?
Well, I’m ranked 49 and only playing six months, so I should pass you by sometime next week.
Okay, I’m not questioning your abilities. From what I’ve seen, you’re very good.
True.
I’m kidding!
But, thank you. I appreciate it. You won’t believe how many gamers feel threatened by a girl.
I’m not threatened. I know girls can play. Especially you. But, I’m curious. How do you know I’m not a girl?
HA! Not with a name like DragonSlayer.
Only men give themselves these macho names to make themselves feel powerful.
Women don’t need that stuff.
So says the FaerieQueen.
Touché. I walked into that one.
But, why DragonSlayer42? Don’t tell me there are 41 other Dragon Slayers?
BTW, to your left there are three orcs. You want to kill them, or do you need me to help you?
I saw them. And FYI, I don’t know how many other Dragonslayers there are. I only put 42 after it since it’s my lucky number.
Jackie Robinson or Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy?
You’ve read Hitchhiker’s?
I LOVE Hitchhiker’s!
OMG I LOVE YOU!
I’ll make sure to let my boyfriend know.
You know what I mean. It’s my favorite book.
Definitely a funny book, but the movie sucked.
I don’t think it sucked, but definitely not as good as the book.
Hold up! You’re about to be killed by an ogre unless you start paying attention.
Where?
Don’t worry, I got it.
Thanks.
How’d you ever make it this far without me?
Relax! I was just kidding.
It was all just luck.
I was basically treading water until I met the great FaerieQueen. BTW, you going to tell me your real name yet?
I was wondering when you were going to ask today.
I’ve been asking every day for a week.
Don’t you think it’s better to keep our personal lives separate from here?
It doesn’t hurt to just know names. Will you at least tell me your first name?
I don’t know.
Like you said, we’ve only known each other for a week.
Yeah, but it’s been a fun week, no?
Yes. But, what if in real life you’re some deranged lunatic?
Can’t I be just a normal lunatic?
LOL!
It’s weird, I never even saw you on this game until last week, and suddenly you appear out of nowhere and have the highest score.
Not to mention being a pretty cool person as well.
Thank you. But, I have no idea why you never saw me, I’ve been playing for a while.
Yeah, me too. Weird we’ve never crossed paths before.
But, I am glad we met. At least virtually.
Me too.
Hey, I’m just throwing it out there, do you want to team up?
Work together? I mean, we’re coming to a tough part of the game.
So, you want me to protect you?
Something like that. But, you watch my back and I watch yours.
I’ve never worked with a partner before.
So, let’s give it a shot. See how it works. That’s the point of the game, isn’t it? To meet new people?
I thought the point was to battle orcs, kill the dragon, get treasure and win the game?
There’s that too.
But, deal. So, without saying names, tell me something about yourself.
Like what?
I don’t know. Let’s see.
Where are you now? I mean, what room do you play in? How’s your game set-up?
Bad question. I’m crazy with gaming. I have a spare room which is basically devoted to only that.
Cleared space for all my Virtual Reality Stuff. And you?
Living room. I have a rollout mat for VR. I look ridiculous playing here, but I don’t care.
I’m sure it looks cute.
It really doesn’t, but it’s the only place I have room for it. Watch those goblins to your right!
Oh, didn’t see them! Thanks!
Maybe I should rethink this partnership thing?
Funny. You were distracting me.
Want me to stop talking?
NO! I like talking to you.
Your boyfriend doesn’t play?
Nah, he’s not a gamer. Thinks it’s silly.
What does he know? 😊
Exactly.
And you? Wife/girlfriend mind you playing?
Nope. Divorced.
Oh. Sorry.
If you met her, you wouldn’t be.
LOL! That bad?
I’m just kidding. She’s really not terrible. Just didn’t work out.
Kids?
For someone who didn’t want personal, you sure ask a lot of personal questions.
You’re right.
I was kidding! You can ask whatever you want. No kids. You?
No kids. Don’t want to have kids until I get married.
Three minutes later
Hello?
Sorry, I’m here.
Thought I lost you.
No, I was just watching the news about the storm. Looks like it’s going to be bad.
What storm?
The one in New York. It’s been all over the news. Where have you been?
Storm? What are you talking about? I live in NY.
You do??
Yes.
Are you messing with me?
No, and I have no idea what you’re talking about.
You’re supposed to get over a foot of snow tonight. Are you in the city?
Yes, Upper West Side.
Then, how do you not know this?
I’m looking out the window right now. It’s clear.
How can that be? I’m watching it on the news. It’s snowing bad. They’re calling it Snowmageddon 2020.
2020? Why would they call it that?
Um, because of the year?
So, why wouldn’t they call it 2018?
Because that was two years ago. In case you hadn’t heard, it’s 2020 now.
App