Mind Games
by Matt Rosenbaum
Coming home soon?
No. Busy.
We need to talk about your work. Something bad’s happening.
???
I keep having this terrible feeling.
What’s this have to do with my work?
I want you to quit your job. Something’s happening and I don’t know what.
This isn’t fair. I’ve studied all my life to become a physicist. Why would you assume the feeling is because of me?
The work you do tampers with the nature of reality. You’re tapping into something you shouldn’t be messing around with.
Bad things are happening and I just know it is because of you.
What is going on.
I’ve had a very strange morning.
Tell me.
I keep having these thoughts.
Okay.
Thoughts that don’t belong to me.
What?
I know things I didn’t know previously. And I’ve no clue how.
Explain.
Well, I woke up and couldn’t stop thinking about a very complicated mathematical process.
One that I clearly understood, but wasn’t sure why or how I understood it.
????
So I got out a pen and paper and I wrote it all down. I needed to get it out of my head.
No offense, but you were always terrible at math.
I know that. That’s why I’m certain these thoughts didn’t belong to me. They’re from somewhere else.
I’m scared.
How long was the formula or equation or whatever you wrote down?
I started writing and I just couldn’t stop.
How long was it?
Over 100 pages.
I’m terrified Frank. If you don’t quit your job I’m leaving you. Today.
I’m coming home now.
Fine.
Is this all that happened?
Martha? .
It’s not all that happened.
Tell me.
After I was done writing down the math I blacked out.
Oh god.
And the next thing I knew, I woke up in a strange place.
Where??
Shit.
TELL ME.
I was inside the oven.
You have to be joking??
No. I’m not. And it was on Frank. The oven was on.
DID YOU HURT YOURSELF????
I’m okay. It must have been turned on only very shortly before I climbed inside.
I’m coming home now. Everything will be okay.
the next day
Where are you?
Traffic. Done clearing out my desk. Be home shortly.
I love you. And I appreciate your decision to quit.
I did it for you.
When will you be home?
Hour.
I want to go through the math you wrote down. Need to know what it is.
Threw it out.
What?? That could have given us some insight into what is going on with you.
It was scaring me.
Find it. Take it out of the trash. I want to study it later.
OK.
two hours later
Are you okay? Can I bring some tea to your study?
No.
Okay. Everything alright?
Studying your mathematics. Need quiet.
Any discoveries?
No. I’ll come out in a bit.
two hours later
Are you awake still?
Your text just woke me up.
Something beyond my understanding is going on.
What?
When I started this, I began with the expectation that it would be nonsense. Gibberish.
Random subconscious firings left over from grade school math class days.
And??
There is no possible way you could have known all of this.
What’s it mean already? I’m coming down stairs.
I don’t know how to tell you this.
WHAT??
This math is suggesting that our reality is...fake.
Fake? What does that mean?
A complete illusion.
This math is suggesting that we don’t actually exist.
Is it accurate? Couldn’t be.
Not sure. I need to show this to someone. Maybe Richardson can help.
This might explain why I was in the oven.
What?
Somewhere deep inside I knew. I knew the answer. And it was too much bear.
You’re saying you unconsciously tried to kill yourself?
Not just kill myself. Free Myself. Of this burden.
the next day
I showed your math to Professor Richardson.
And…
He needs time with it.
Okay.
Are you okay?
Martha???
two weeks later
Richardson got back to me.
And??
Martha. It’s conclusive. It’s true.
What is?
The world. The universe. Everything. Those we love. Our dreams. Our art. None of it is real.
How can this be true.
I love you.
Frank something’s happening.
I see it too.
Do you see what I see?
Tell me.
I can’t explain it.
Try.
I shouldn’t be but I am very calm. I feel okay. Good even. Better than I’ve felt in weeks. But….
My body is gone.
I’m not even sure how I am still using my phone. Maybe with my mind? My consciousness alone?
I am willing these words into my device. It’s incredible.
I feel calm too. All has been revealed to us.
The room is gone.
My surroundings have disintegrated. In a moment my cell will have vanished and I’ll be unable to continue speaking with you.
My consciousness will perhaps vanish too.
I feel I am nowhere. And also everywhere. I am large and small and everything and nothing.
Weightless but also infinite. It’s a brilliant feeling.
I love you.
I love you so much.
The world is profoundly fair. I know this now.
Goodbye Frank.
Goodbye.
App