MysteryMan
Hello Annabelle.
AnnaisBlue
Umm yeah, hi. I ordinarily love a good mystery.
AnnaisBlue
But I’m in no mood so just tell me who you are.
MysteryMan
Wouldn’t that spoil all the fun?
AnnaisBlue
Look, you may be a nice guy, or a horrible guy, whatever, but I’m just not available.
MysteryMan
I’m a swell guy.
AnnaisBlue
If one of my friends gave you my number, just toss it.
AnnaisBlue
Have a nice day.
MysteryMan
When was the last time you had any fun?
AnnaisBlue
Two years ago. Right before my husband was murdered.
MysteryMan
Two years is a long time so maybe a day of fun would do you good.
AnnaisBlue
I am not dating. I am not interested in dating. I might never be interested in dating. My heart is cold and dark.
MysteryMan
Come play with me.
AnnaisBlue
I’m busy and you sound like a Pervy McPerverson.
MysteryMan
I happen to know you spend every Saturday afternoon reading old detective novels.
AnnaisBlue
It’s the best part of my week.
MysteryMan
How would you like to go on an adventure with me without having to even meet me?
AnnaisBlue
I wouldn’t, because you’re probably a serial killer.
AnnaisBlue
Prove that you’re not.
MysteryMan
If I do you will play along?
MysteryMan
Your BFF Susie told me she wants you to start dating again.
MysteryMan
She’s worried you’ll never let yourself find love again because of what happened to Ben.
AnnaisBlue
Ben died and I will never love that perfectly, deeply, passionately beautifully again. So why try?
MysteryMan
Because if you’re going to be alive, why not LIVE?
AnnaisBlue
OK Mr. Mystery Man, what do you want me to do?
MysteryMan
Go to the corner of Haight-Ashbury. Find the tall man selling incense. Tell him your name.
AnnaisBlue
I don’t need incense.
MysteryMan
No one NEEDS incense.
AnnaisBlue
I’ll go, but only because I can make fun of Susie later for trying to set me up with a lunatic.
MysteryMan
Thank you for playing along Annabelle. You won’t regret it.
AnnaisBlue
OK I’m here and I see the guy. Here goes nothing.
MysteryMan
Don’t buy his incense it all smells like cleaning products. Just tell him your name.
AnnaisBlue
I’m standing in front of him faking a big smile. I just said my name.
AnnaisBlue
He said I’m REALLY late, whatever that means.
MysteryMan
You are late. A few years.
AnnaisBlue
OMG! He’s singing my favorite song!!!
AnnaisBlue
And the voice on this guy! He looks like Vin Diesel but sings like Stevie Wonder.
AnnaisBlue
Joy Division’s “Love Will Tear Us Apart” performed as a soul song.
AnnaisBlue
Impressive. Points for you.
MysteryMan
I knew you would like it.
AnnaisBlue
He just handed me a piece of paper. Looks like it’s been in his bag for years. Can barely read it.
AnnaisBlue
Is this a clue? I love clues!!!
AnnaisBlue
“President wooden teeth, what you call boring guys, what you hate to do, what Austin Powers does right, can you dig?”
AnnaisBlue
Interesting. Hmmmm...I got it!
AnnaisBlue
At Washington Square Park I should dig under the swing on the right.
AnnaisBlue
Bam! Nailed it. No one can out-clue me!
MysteryMan
How do you know? You are not even there yet.
AnnaisBlue
We’ll know it ten minutes.
MysteryMan
You’re enjoying yourself.
AnnaisBlue
I’ll never admit it.
AnnaisBlue
At the park. Had to tell a five-year-old in pigtails to get lost.
AnnaisBlue
I’m underneath the swings, digging like a maniac. The toddlers are staring at me. Got sand in my shoes.
MysteryMan
Let me know what you find.
AnnaisBlue
Found it! I was right! Something in a bag. Holy shit!!! A VHS copy of The Decline of Western Civilization!
MysteryMan
You are a punk rock fan, correct?
AnnaisBlue
Shit yeah! I haven’t seen this since college, since some hipster Berkley stoner thief savage stole my copy.
AnnaisBlue
I hope you lead me to a VHS player next. That would be a real feat.
MysteryMan
How am I doing so far, Annabelle?
AnnaisBlue
It’s not going to get you a real date, but you’re doing terrific.
AnnaisBlue
Just found a note in the bag. The ink is faded. How the hell did you put all this together?
MysteryMan
Just read the note. It’s the last part.
AnnaisBlue
It just says, “Go home and look between the mattresses.”
AnnaisBlue
Are you in my apartment? I’m calling the police you asshole.
MysteryMan
I swear I haven’t been in your apartment.
AnnaisBlue
Jeez - you must be really good friends with Susie to have her help you like this.
AnnaisBlue
She’s been trying to play matchmaker with me for months.
MysteryMan
She’s a great girl.
AnnaisBlue
I’m heading home. I will have my pepper spray ready in case you’re hiding in my closet, psycho.
MysteryMan
I am nowhere near your apt.
AnnaisBlue
I’m here. Thankfully you are not.
AnnaisBlue
I called Susie. She swears she didn’t try to set me up.
AnnaisBlue
You’re a lying creep. What is going on? I’m about to call the police.
MysteryMan
Just look between the mattresses. Please.
AnnaisBlue
Who are you? What is your name? Are you a stalker?
AnnaisBlue
Whoever you are, you’re in big trouble.
MysteryMan
I am a friend.
AnnaisBlue
Is this you Jenn?
MysteryMan
I am not Jenn, but I am someone you know very well.
AnnaisBlue
Ok I’m lifting the mattress. Just a note.
AnnaisBlue
Note says, “Annabelle, thank you for five wonderful years. We’ve loved hard. We’ve loved soft. We’ve loved crazy. We’ve loved sweet. No matter what, just love. – B”
AnnaisBlue
This isn’t happening. I’m imagining this. I need meds.
MysteryMan
You are not imagining anything.
MysteryMan
I set up this little scavenger hunt for you right before, well, you know.
MysteryMan
Cannot believe the incense guy still had the note and remembered the song. That was a real longshot.
AnnaisBlue
No, Ben is dead. You’re dead.
AnnaisBlue
I’m dreaming. Or I’m dead too.
MysteryMan
The dead sometimes live on.
MysteryMan
And some find a way to communicate with the living.
MysteryMan
I found a way. Technology.
AnnaisBlue
Oh my God Ben I love you I love you I love you!!!
MysteryMan
I love you always, Annabelle.
MysteryMan
But this is just a final goodbye.
AnnaisBlue
What? No! I just got you back.
MysteryMan
You didn’t get me back. I just had unfinished business. One last adventure with you.
AnnaisBlue
It’s not fair! Asshole with a gun gets to ruin my life, take you away from me. No no no!!! I can join you!
MysteryMan
Stop it. Don’t be ridiculous.
MysteryMan
Annabelle. Date again. Move on. Love again.
AnnaisBlue
But it’s so hard…I hurt.
MysteryMan
Nothing can take away what we had.
AnnaisBlue
Say it one last time!
MysteryMan
Annabelle, use your inside voice. You’re scaring the cat.
AnnaisBlue
Haha! Still funny.
