I glare at Ben as he walks toward me after lunch.
Melanie
What did you do?!
Melanie
Her onesie! Did you…draw on it!?
Ben
Yeah. Lizzy Lemon and I decided the plain white was boring.
Ben
So I spiced it up a bit.
I carefully take her from his arms.
Her onesie looks like a color explosion.
The animal drawings are well done…
Melanie
Did anyone see you drawing on her?!
Melanie
What if she accidentally got marked?!
Melanie
This is what I’m talking about!
Melanie
What if Donaldson caught you?!
Melanie
Pretty sure permanent marker and babies don’t mix!
Ben looks angry for a moment…
But I must have imagined that too…
Because he covers it with a smile.
Ben
And you shouldn’t yell in front of Lizzy.
Ben
You never knows who’s watching.
Then he winks at me before walking away.
Melanie
He’s impossible, Tasha!
Melanie
He won’t stop sending me selfies!
Melanie
Of him and Lizzy.
Melanie
Him and Lizzy by the lockers.
Melanie
Him and Lizzy on the basketball court.
Melanie
Lizzy snuggled on the couch with a popcorn bowl.
Tasha
I actually think that’s kind of cute.
Melanie
Ben Watson isn’t cute. He’s a joke.
Tasha
He was so sweet with her in algebra earlier this week.
Tasha
He had her wrapped in his jersey while he drew on her onesie.
Tasha
Yeah, it came out great. Didn’t you see it?
As I stare at the text, guilt rushes through me.
He didn’t draw on her onesie with her in it after all.
He took care to make sure she was safe.
Why didn’t he tell me that?
I stand at the school entrance, staring at my watch.
The first bell is going to ring any minute.
Why would he want mornings if—
A car suddenly speeds into the parking lot.
I watch as he quickly parks and runs toward me.
Ben
Sorry I’m late. My brothers held me up.
Melanie
Whatever. You’re here now.
I place Lizzy gently in his arms, then turn to walk away.
Ben
I’ve sent you tons of selfies and you haven’t sent me any.
Melanie
Selfies? Why would I do that?
Ben
I have a right to know what you guys are up to.
Ben
I am the dad, you know.
Melanie
She sits with me while I do homework.
Melanie
We watch documentaries.
Melanie
And then we go to bed early to get a good night’s sleep.
Ben
Sounds like our little Lizzy Lemon is due for some fun.
Melanie
Um, what does that mean?
But Ben doesn’t answer me.
He’s already walking away.
I find out what “fun” means.
I head down the hall and hear people laughing.
There’s a stroller by my locker.
And it looks like a shark.
Inside, Lizzy is wearing dark sunglasses and a thick gold chain.
I look around and spot Ben a few feet away…
Melanie
What are you doing?!
I reach in and remove the glasses.
Then I take off the ridiculous chain.
Ben
What? We’re just having a little bit of fun.
Ben
Lizzy’s had a great morning. She’s a star.
I open my locker and throw everything inside.
Then I pick up Lizzy from the stroller.
I’m too angry to form words.
He’s making us look like clowns.
Ben
Come on. Where’s your sense of humor?
I slam my locker closed and glare at him.
Melanie
YOU’RE the joke, Ben.
Melanie
Always have been, always will be.
He narrows his eyes at me.
Ben
Is that what you think?
Melanie
As you said, I’ve known you for 13 years.
Melanie
And all I’ve seen you do is goof around and slack off.
Ben
I’ve never bullied anyone!
Melanie
Second grade. Bucket of water on Josephine’s head.
Melanie
Sixth grade. Snail in Dominic’s sandwich—
Ben
Those were pranks. It’s all in good fun.
Ben
Why do you always have to be so uptight and judgmental?!
Ben
I’m surprised you’re not getting a nose bleed on your high horse!
Someone behind us clears their throat.
We both turn around at the same time.
Donaldson
You know, I put you two together for a reason.
Donaldson
I thought maybe you’d complement one another.
Donaldson
Find a way to understand one another.
Ben and I stare at each other sheepishly.
Donaldson
You just lost 10 points today.
Donaldson
Both of you need to try harder…
He raises a stern brow and gestures to Lizzy.
Donaldson
For the baby’s sake.
