But she also knew that since they met, she had been holding back. She had been cautious with him for fear that her heart could not take another rejection. Seeing that he was the Lycan King, she was certain, dead certain, that he would reject her for a whole litany of reasons. She wasn’t a Lycan; she didn’t have Alpha blood; she wasn’t very beautiful even for a wolf. And then, there was that mouth of hers which tends to speak whatever she felt and thought, regardless of how it affected the listeners. She didn’t care what people think of her, which was why she dared speak to all three Cummings and to Greg the way she did. She wouldn’t intentionally walk up to a Lycan and pick a fight. She wasn’t stupid or reckless. But if they brought the fight to her, she would not hesitate to defend herself.
Lucianne chuckled darkly as she thought about how the mate bond had successfully possessed the King, the most powerful creature of both species. ‘Oh, Moon Goddess. You’ve really upped your game this time, haven't you?’ She mocked. She wasn’t that affected, probably because she had enough practice resisting the mate bond from the five mates before Xandar.
Her heart felt heavy at the thought of losing him to keep the part of her life she didn’t want to give up. When she recalled Xandar telling her that he loved her the night before, she could no longer stop the tears from streaming down her cheeks. She wiped them away hastily, and turned her thoughts to the Jewel Pack. She had to focus on the fight. The whole pack was counting on them.
‘Lucy, what’s wrong?’ Juan mind-linked.
She looked in his direction, and saw that he and Alpha Tate next to him were looking at her in concern.
She smiled meekly and linked back, ‘It’s nothing, Alpha Juan. I was just thinking about the warriors that the Jewel Pack just lost.’
Juan sighed out loud before he and Alpha Tate came to sit facing her and Toby. Toby looked a little surprised. But when he glanced at Lucianne and saw that she was unperturbed, he knew she had something to do with their Alphas’ presence.
“Lucy,” Alpha Juan’s tone demanded her to look at him. “Talk to us. Tate knows what he saw.”
Lucianne narrowed her eyes in Alpha Tate’s direction, and Tate said, “You can’t expect us to not ask, Lucy. We’re a family. You said it yourself. Like it or not we’re all children of the Moon Goddess. We’re siblings.”
“Really? You’re using my own words against me, Tate?”
Tate shrugged and replied, “I don’t know a better way to win an argument against you.”
She sighed, and assured the Alphas, “It’s nothing, I promise. It won’t affect the fight.”
“Toby,” Tate turned to his Gamma and asked sternly, “What happened?”
Before Toby could speak, Lucianne said, “Leave him out of this, Tate. It’s just me. I just…need to think about what I want to do with the mate bond.”
Juan’s eyebrows furrowed. “Meaning?”
She glared at him and said, “You know what I mean. After five rejections, Juan, you know exactly what I mean.”
“Does she mean…” Tate suddenly looked alarmed as he took in Juan’s reaction. Juan pressed the bridge of his nose before sighing in frustration.
Tate then asked Toby, “Did you have anything to do with this?” The Alpha’s eyes were already boiling with anger.
Toby opened his mouth but before he managed to say anything, Lucianne said firmly, “No, he didn’t. Toby only told me what was already circulating among the wolves. Nothing more. Leave him out of this.”
Tate then said, more gently than he did with Toby, “What has been circulating among us are not even bad things. Why are you so upset?”
Juan’s voice was low when he explained, “Because…she doesn’t want to give up her life as a wolf.” He looked at his childhood friend and his closest confidant. Lucianne’s glistening eyes confirmed his suspicions.
Her voice was shaky when she whispered, “It’s not fair, Juan.” She swallowed a sob before she added, “Why would I have to give up…my whole life…to be with him but he gets to keep his whole life…and me if I chose to accept him?”
Juan then squatted in front of her and looked at her seriously as he said, “Lucy, talk to him. See if you can find a middle ground. Don’t do anything rash. You seem to like him, and we can all see that he is already deeply in love with you. Don’t end this if you don’t have to.”
Lucy nodded ominously before Juan hugged her. Lucy pushed him back after a few seconds, and asked Juan sadly, “What if he just sees me the way he does because of the mate bond?”
“If you think that’s true that you’re just being naive. You have five previous mates to compare him with. Which one of them has ever looked at you the way the King now looks at you, or treated you the way he is treating you?” Juan questioned without hesitation. He was right. As far as Lucianne could remember, none of them showed her a level of affection that Xandar had shown her in the past two days, not even close.
She pressed her lips and averted her eyes from Juan before muttering under her breath, “I’m scared. I’m not a Queen.”
Juan then scoffed softly, bringing her attention back to him. “Lucy, I’ve always told Hale that if I ever had to give someone else in our pack my Alpha title, it would be you. You’ve been a leader long before you want to admit. I was pissed and hurt when you didn’t accept my offer to be my Beta but that never stopped us from giving you as much discretion as you were willing to take.”
“Gammas are cooler. Why would I want to be a Beta?” Lucianne retorted like a little girl.
Tate chuckled from the side, and Juan smiled at her response. Juan added, “Talk to him, Lucy. He really wants to make this work with you. As much as your past gives you a reason to do what you’re thinking of doing, bear in mind that the King may be different. We can all see that. You need to see it too, okay?”
She nodded obediently. “Thanks, Juan.”
He smiled and ruffled her hair. “Anything for my little sister.”
“Hey!” Lucianne complained. Now she had to retie her hair as Juan and Tate chuckled. Toby let out an audible sigh of relief when it was all over.
