Natasha
Heads up, I’m climbing through the basement window.
Alex
mom’s in the living room.
Natasha
I’m getting itchy out here.
Alex
she thinks ur sleeping, give it a second.
Natasha
reaaalllyy itchy.
Natasha
I feel like ur fucking with me on purpose.
Natasha
it’s midnight, why is she cleaning?
Alex
by the way there’s an Iron & Wine concert tomorrow night
Alex
and I’m missing it because of ur birthday.
Alex
I’m honestly pissed about it. Iron & Wine has seen me through harder times than you’ll ever know.
Alex
I’m helping you sneak into our home and all I get is fine?
Natasha
need updates on moms movements not your concert-missing sadness.
Alex
she’s still cleaning.
Natasha
what happens if she sees u?
Natasha
haha I’m sure ur fine!
Alex
I’m fine, Dylans fine, we’re all fine in ur world.
Alex
mom told me tonight that ur going crazy and becoming a radical thinker.
Alex
starting to think she may be right.
Natasha
so what’s the game plan, wise one?
Alex
go to the window in dads office, right by the pool.
Natasha
u think or u know?
Alex
try it, she won’t hear you
Natasha
ok, at the window
Alex
u have to give it 2 tugs
Alex
when u hear the clicking noise, it’s open
Natasha
u know too much about this
Natasha
something u want to tell me?
Alex
I was a more impressive 16 yr old than you’ll ever be
Natasha
shit the lights on in here, r u sure I’m good?
Alex
SHE’S RIGHT OUTSIDE THE OFFICE.
Natasha
fuck, I’m stuck on the edge of the window pane
Natasha
alright, I’m coming in.
Natasha
why under the desk? The door is closed…
Alex
in case she comes in!
Natasha
is she still there?
Alex
but I think you’re good to come out.
Alex
crawl out into the hallway.
Alex
she might not see u if ur on ur hands and knees.
Alex
HANDS AND KNEES, NATASHA.
Natasha
BRB, on my hands and knees.
Alex
I need your speed to decelerate
Natasha
ur making my phone buzz
Natasha
wait, I don’t even see mom in the living room.
Natasha
where did she go?
Natasha
YOU FUCKING BITCH!!!!!!!!!
Alex
Iron & Wine, Natasha. Iron & fucking Wine.
