Sry Honey
by Matt Rosenbaum
Honey, I need to tell you something.
Okay. What is it?
Please understand that I feel I am simply not strong enough to tell you in person.
That is why I’m typing this.
Just tell me already.
I will never see you again.
WHAT???
I’m so sorry.
WHAT ARE YOU TALKING ABOUT
I’m going to tell you because you deserve to know.
I am in major breach of confidentiality but I simply could not go on living without some type of closure.
I need to know that you know.
Jesus Christ. Where are you? I need to see you.
I already told you, I will never see you again.
Jesus. You better be joking.
Willem, yesterday morning I received a message. You’re probably not going to believe me, but I’m going to tell you anyway.
Message?
It was from NASA. Willem, we’ve made contact.
Contact? What in the world…
Willem. There are other people out there. Well, they’re not people, they’re very different from people.
In fact, I’m not sure you’d be able to comprehend.
Beth, tell me what’s going on.
Whatever these things are...we’ll call them people for now...they…
WHAT ALREADY!!??
They contacted Earth. NASA. They knew who I was.
How could they possibly? That is ridiculous.
They are much smarter than people. They know things we can never know.
Why did they mention you?
They mentioned me because of my status with Mensa.
Really?
They want me.
Want you? I don’t understand.
Willem, they consider me the smartest person on Earth.
So what?
I am an invaluable resource to them. An insight into humanity that nobody else can provide.
You are so arrogant. I’ve always resented that.
Well you understand at least why I will never come home.
No I don’t.
Willem, they need me. They need to study me. I have so much to teach them and they have so much to teach me.
Can you imagine a more meaningful or important calling?
So just go. Just get out of here and never come back. I’ve never been smart enough for you anyway.
Willem, that’s not true.
No, it is. You always make me feel bad about my intelligence. About how I’m not as smart as you.
Honey.
Our whole time together. You make me feel dumb. You make everyone around you feel dumb.
I don’t believe that.
It’s true. It’s probably good you make friends with these people because no person on Earth could ever truly like you.
You’re trying to hurt me. It is a defense mechanism.
Just shut up.
I don’t want to part on these terms. Forgive me.
Stop talking to me.
I love you. Please know that.
ten days later
Honey, it’s me. I’m talking to you! Can you believe that?
I told you to stop talking to me.
Come on. Honey, I love you.
Where are you?
Willem, I’ve travelled over three hundred thousand light years since you last spoke to me.
I didn’t think cell service reached that far.
Haha
How are you possibly sending these messages?
I made some requests. I told them I’d like to communicate with you via my own species communication systems and they were generous enough to accommodate me.
They were able to do that?
These people can do anything they want. They are unfathomably intelligent.
What is it like there?
I’m not sure I know how to describe it.
Even with your intelligence?
I don’t think a word exists for what this place is like. For what these people are like and the knowledge they possess.
It’s like nothing you or me have ever imagined. It’s beyond our understanding. Beyond mine.
I need to go now. We have a lot of work to do and my head is killing me. I will contact you soon.
Wait.
Yes?
What kind of work are you talking about?
They told me they’d like to share something with me. Some type of knowledge. An eternal truth.
The key to everything and infinity and that which is beyond infinity.
later that night
WILLEM YOU NEED TO ANSWER ME NOW
What what is it?
I am in trouble.
What’s wrong?
I am in trouble.
You already said that.
TROUBLE. AND I amm a stupid woman. Very stupid.
Honey?
WILLEM. STUPID STUPIDDq
Can you read my messages? Are you getting these? Tell me if you’re getting these.
I am.
Then tell me what’s going on.
i don’t knosdasdfasw
Why are you typing nonsense? Is there a problem with the technology you are using?
qweqwpeppkkkfkf :::::::qqqqqqqq
?????
KILL
BETH!!?? THIS IS NOT FUNNY.
HAHAHAHHHHHHHHH VERY FUNNY
You are scaring the shit out of me.
You are DEAD. YOU ARE ALL DEADwr[ooo.
I don’t understand. Please stop this.
DEeeaD
What the hell happened to you????
I AM GOING TO KILL
Willem this is Beth. My mind is not well. I need you to send for help. This is very important.
Honey? I am so confused.
Beth is dead forever. She will never come back because she knows things she was never supposed to know.
Her mind has been corrupted in ways that are unimaginable to your worthless stupid brain. Good bye.
I don’t know what to do.
Honey, I love you. Forever.
App