TextDate
Hello! Welcome to our amazing new text-based speed dating service called TextDate™.
TextDate
Thank you for signing up for our free trial. We’ve received your unique profile and have found you three potential matches!
TextDate
In 30 seconds, we will connect you with your first match. You will only have a few minutes to text, so make it count!
TextDate
Get ready, have fun, and remember – texting is the new language of love!
TextDate
Date 1 begins…NOW!
Henry
Hey!! I’m Henry, 24, a mechanical engineer, and I love Game of Thrones. What’s your name?
TextDate
hi there! i’m carly!!!
TextDate
i’m 26, i love interior design and shopping, i own two pomeranians, and my favorite tv show is real housewives of beverly hills!!!
Henry
Oh wow, that’s…different. Cool, though. What are your dogs’ names?
TextDate
marie and antoinette!
Henry
Like the French Queen?
Henry
That’s hilarious and dark
TextDate
no, like my favorite contestants from america’s next top model!
Henry
So what do you like to do for fun Carly?
TextDate
welllllll, i really like to bake, especially vegan cupcakes
TextDate
and i love to go out with my girlfriends! how about you?
Henry
I also like to hang out with friends. We go to the movies a lot, we recently saw the new James Bond
TextDate
oh, that’s super fun!! i’m not really a fan of action movies
TextDate
so what’s something super important to you?
Henry
Hmm, that’s a really good question
Henry
I’m really interested in politics. I think it’s really important to be an active citizen in the political process.
Henry
There are so many important issues and…
TextDate
you’re so funny, henry! i love how sarcastic you are!!!
Henry
So what’s something really important to you?
TextDate
i love to help out at the local dog shelter! that’s where i got my two babies from!
Henry
That’s sweet actually, Carly
TextDate
anyway i was wondering, what’s your favori
TextDate
Ring ring! Time’s up!
TextDate
We hope you enjoyed your very first TextDate™.
TextDate
We spent a lot of time and effort to make sure you had a great match, and we hope you felt the connection too.
Henry
Um…not quite. Also, that was way too fast to really get to know each other
TextDate
Sounds great! Get ready for round 2! Your second speed text date starts...NOW!
TextDate
heyyyyyyyyyy there
Henry
Hey. I’m Henry. I’m 24, I love Game of Thrones, and I’m a mechanical engineer. Who are you?
TextDate
hey there henry. i’m josh, i’m 23, from hawaii, i love video games, traveling in europe, and dating
TextDate
you sound like you might be cute henry! mind sending a photo? ;)
Henry
Also, “might be?” lol
Henry
Ok, this is a bit awkward. I’m actually not…
TextDate
if you don’t want to send me a photo right away, that’s okay
TextDate
i know some guys are shy about it ;)
TextDate
but i can send you some of me
Henry
Nononono that’s okay, I don’t need any photos
Henry
Look, I’m sure you’re really great
Henry
But I’m not…interested.
TextDate
you haven’t even seen me yet, how could you know you’re not interested!?
TextDate
you’re being really rude
TextDate
judging me before we’ve even talked at all
Henry
Josh, how do I put this
Henry
I’m not interested in men.
Henry
I’m sorry, I think there was some sort of mix up on TextDate’s part
Henry
I input my preference as female
TextDate
this dumbass dating service has to fix their software!!!
TextDate
HEY THERE MORONS YOU MESSED UP AGAI
TextDate
Ring ring! Time’s up!
TextDate
Fantastic! We hope you enjoyed your second TextDate™.
TextDate
We spent a lot of time and effort to make sure you had a great match, and we hope you felt the connection too.
Henry
Not really…it was mostly very uncomfortable
TextDate
Sounds great! Get ready for round 3! Your third speed text date starts….NOW!
Henry
Hey there – first things first. Are you a girl?
TextDate
Hi there. Yes, I am, last time I checked.
Henry
Fantastic, then we’re already off to a great start.
Henry
I’m Henry, a normal guy who signed up for this free trial so I could be entered into a drawing for a new car.
Henry
So far, it’s not working out that well in my favor…
TextDate
Ah, I see. Same here, about the car thing.
TextDate
I’m tired of driving my uncle’s old beat up Volkswagon.
Henry
Hahaha no way! That’s the same car I have right now
TextDate
Obviously, we must be super compatible because we drive the same piece of junk.
Henry
Well, do you watch Game of Thrones?
TextDate
House Stark, at your service.
Henry
Wtf. The Lannisters send their regards
TextDate
A Lannister? This will never work. What were they thinking?
Henry
Okay, you seem really cool. So what do you do for a living?
TextDate
I’m a freelance graphic designer. I live in San Francisco. I have a cat named David Tennant. You?
Henry
I’m a mechanical engineer, I live in Portland, and I can only aspire to have a cat named something so awesome.
Henry
This might sound crazy, but do you feel like we’re extremely compatible?!
Henry
I was having crap luck with this dating service until we got connected…
TextDate
Our banter is next-level
Henry
So what’s something that’s really important to you?
TextDate
Hmmm.. I would have to say maybe the environment
TextDate
I was super involved in eco-political groups on my college campus. There’s a lot that still has to be done
Henry
Wow… you just might be my dream woman
TextDate
That’s sweet. It does seem like we get along well
TextDate
And Portland and San Fran aren’t too far away…
Henry
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
Henry
We could definitely meet halfway in the middle
TextDate
Driving our beat up old VWs? Lol
TextDate
I guess, it actually sounds fun
TextDate
Fantastic! We hope you enjoyed your last TextDate™.
TextDate
We spent a lot of time and effort to make sure you had a great match, and we hope you felt the connection too.
Henry
She was probably my soulmate!
Henry
I DIDN’T EVEN GET HER NAME!
TextDate
Sounds great! Your free trial is now terminated.
TextDate
Unfortunately, we lost all of our funding, so our dating service is shutting down. We hope you exchanged contact information with every potential match.
Henry
WHAT ARE THE CHANCES
TextDate
Thanks for using TextDate™. And remember – texting is the new language of love!
