Derek
Hey Mom? How serious were you when you said no more practical jokes?
Mom
I swear to God, if there’s another clown in my closet…
Mom
I will not hesitate to ground you both.
Derek
No, listen, something weird is going on here…
Derek
Promise neither of you are pranking me right now?
Kyle
Yeah. Mom said we weren’t supposed to mess with each other anymore.
Mom
And I wasn’t kidding!
Mom
I’m talking no phone, no internet.
Derek
Okay, it’s probably just my fever…
Derek
A hallucination or something…
Mom
I’m going to regret asking, but…
Derek
I thought I just saw Mom walk past the doorway…
Kyle
Mom and I are both at work.
Derek
It’s probably nothing.
Derek huddles on the couch in a blanket.
The TV is on, but he's turned the volume down low.
He stares hard at the doorway leading to the kitchen.
Derek
It was super weird though…
Kyle
Alright, Derek. What did Fake Mom do?
Mom
Kyle, stop teasing your brother.
Kyle
Hey, it was an honest question!
Derek
She didn’t do anything, really.
Derek
She just kind of did that awkward wave thing Mom does and kept walking.
Derek
But I never heard the front door open.
Derek
Or the garage door.
Kyle
Okay…that’s kind of creepy.
Mom
Honey, are you saying that someone who looks like me is in our house?
Derek
No. That would be crazy.
Derek
I’m saying that the house is haunted.
Kyle
Even Gran said she felt the souls of trapped spirits in the laundry room.
Mom
But you can’t listen to her silly ghost stories.
Mom
She just saw an old cold case on TV…
Mom
About some married couple.
Kyle
Yeah! Where the husband started a fire…
Kyle
That MURDERED his wife!
Kyle
I think he died in it, too.
Derek
And we always hear that weird thumping noise in the middle of the night.
Mom
The dryer turns on sometimes.
Kyle
Don’t you see that’s the ghosts?
Kyle
Gran said that the wife keeps trying to escape.
Kyle
But the husband keeps stalking her, even in the afterlife.
Mom
Stop it, Kyle. You’re just trying to scare your brother.
Kyle
Gran told you to do a cleansing.
Kyle
But you never did one.
Kyle
She said the spirit of the wife just wants to be free.
Mom
Neither are hauntings.
Derek
Maybe we could talk about this when you’re home?
Derek
It’s kind of freaking me out.
Suddenly, the dryer kicks on.
Derek
The dryer just turned on.
Mom
We said no more practical jokes.
Mom
Well, go turn off the dryer.
Mom
It’s not good for it to run on empty.
Derek
To go into the room where the dryer turned itself on…
Kyle
That ghost is 💯 going to eat you.
Mom
I can’t afford a new dryer if this one breaks.
Derek
Okay, I’ll turn it off.
Derek climbs to his feet and walks to the doorway.
He pauses, fear skittering up his spine.
Did he just hear footsteps down the hall?
It’s making his head feel weird.
Derek
I really don’t feel good.
Mom
Maybe you shouldn’t be walking around.
Mom
Just leave the dryer.
Mom
I’m sure it’ll be fine.
Kyle
Or it’ll start a fire that will totally kill you.
Kyle
Especially if a ghost started the dryer.
Kyle
He’s trying to kill his wife again, right?
Derek stumbles a little as he reaches the laundry room.
Except for the thumping dryer…
Reminding him that it turned itself on.
Derek takes in a deep breath.
No reason for him to be so freaked out.
He takes a step, and pauses.
Derek moves the laundry basket in front of the door.
That way, he can sprint out of the room quickly.
Derek
Okay, I shut the dryer off.
Derek
The laundry room door slammed shut.
Derek
And I can’t open it.
Mom
What do you mean you can’t open it?
Mom
That door doesn’t have a lock.
Derek
Mom, if this is a joke…
Derek
I’m seriously scared.
Mom
I was about to say the same thing to you.
Derek yanks on the doorknob again, but it won’t turn.
He hears laughter on the other side of the door.
Derek
Mom, I can I hear a man laughing.
Mom
Maybe your Gran was right…
Mom
Derek, kick down the door.
Mom
Get out of the house.
The dryer turns on again.
And then reaches to turn it off.
Smoke starts to curl from behind the machine.
Derek
The dryer…there’s smoke everywhere.
Mom
Break down the door, honey.
Derek races toward the door and kicks it.
His silhouette is fuzzy around the edges…
As Derek stares in shock…
A slow, sinister smile spreads across the man’s face.
Derek
Mom. There’s a man.
Derek
Or, something that used to be a man…
Derek reaches to push the man out of the way.
But his hands pass right through the shape in front of him.
Derek
There’s a lot of smoke now.
Mom
Nothing in that house matters as much as you.
Another figure steps out before Derek reaches the front door.
But she looks like she’s…
As Derek hesitates, she raises a hand…
And points to the front door.
Like she’s telling Derek…
Derek
Holy crap, there’s another ghost!
Derek turns to the front door…
And suddenly the man appears—
A cruel smile on his face.
Derek turns back to the woman…
Derek doesn’t think twice.
And passes right through him.
And then he’s out the front door and into the fresh air.
He turns to face the house.
Derek
But the house is going up in flames.
Derek
It shouldn’t have been able to spread that fast.
Mom
Thank God. I’m on my way right now.
Kyle
I called the fire department.
Through the smoke, Derek sees a figure…
Standing calmly amongst the flames.
She slowly raises a hand.
