The next day, Leah gets a text from Rem while her students are doing independent work.
Rem
Miss One-Eyed Troll! Hellloooooo.
Leah
I’m at work right now, shaping the future of America.
Rem
Are you wearing a catholic school skirt?
Rem
With knee socks, perhaps?
Rem
I can’t help it. I’m red-blooded and healthy.
Rem
It’s been drilled into my core to be turned on by that.
Rem
I want to be honest with you.
Leah pauses, expecting the worst.
Leah
What about? Are you married?
Rem
Omg. I can’t believe you’d think that of me.
Rem
I’ll give you that. But I’m trying to remedy that.
Rem
I’ve listened to your voice message about 29 times.
Leah
That’s a very specific number.
Rem
Your voice. God, woman.
Rem
You’re definitely not a 50-year old male truck-driver.
Leah
Well, I told you that.
Rem
You have a short memory.
Leah
You haven’t sent me one yet, either.
Rem
I want you to go first.
Rem
As a gesture of good faith.
Leah
I’m in the middle of a classroom of 11-year olds!
Then she grins evilly, crossing her leg.
She takes a picture of her foot and ankle and presses send.
Rem
Wow. If I had a foot fetish, I’d be in heaven right now.
Rem
That’s an alluring ankle…
Leah
You don’t like my ballet flats?
Rem
They’re the sexiest ballet flats I’ve ever seen.
Rem
When do I get to see them in person?
Leah
OMG. You’ve only gotten as far as my ankle—
Leah
We haven’t finished playing your game yet!
Leah
Yeah, well — patience is a virtue.
Rem
You’re right. We’ve got to build this thing up to a crescendo.
Rem
I need to run, anyway. I’ve got meetings this morning.
Leah
No problem — I’ve gotta go too. Lives to shape, and all that.
Leah
It’s your turn to send a pic.
Later that evening, Leah is lounging in yoga pants and a ratty t-shirt, with her hair in a loose bun.
With a glass of wine in her hand, she answers it.
Leah
Jess! My favorite sister!
Jess hugs her before walking into the apartment.
Jess
I’m your only sister.
Leah
I didn’t know you were in town today.
Jess sits on the couch and stares pointedly at Leah’s wine glass.
Jess
You’re a mind reader.
Jess
I’m not here on my own accord, by the way.
Leah hesitates, then pours a glass of wine, handing it to her sister.
Jess
She wants you at dinner on Friday.
Jess
Dad’s having a work thing, and we both have to be there.
Leah
We don’t HAVE to be there.
Jess
Did you enjoy having your car paid for?
Jess
You know there was a price for that.
Leah
Whyyyyy did I ever agree to that?
She collapses next to her sister.
Jess
Because you liked having your car paid for. Duh. So do I.
Jess
Let’s not forget…I actually met Eric at one of dad’s cocktail parties. So…
Leah
I can find my own dates, thank you.
Leah
I don’t need some stuffy accountant with a stick up his ass.
Jess
Eric’s ass is stickless, thank you very much.
Leah
He’s a unicorn in dad’s world. You know you lucked out.
Jess
Anyway. Dinner’s at their house. Semi-formal, Friday, 6pm.
Leah
There will be eligible bachelors there, I presume?
Jess
Oh, they mean well. Mom gets all worked up…
Jess
She thinks you’re not getting out enough or something.
Jess
You know, because of your…
Her voice trails off uncomfortably and Leah flinches.
She gets up and walks back to the bar, staring into the mirror the whole time.
The scar is etched along her cheekbone in an angry red line.
Jess
Leah, it’s barely noticeable.
Leah
Let’s call a spade a spade, Jess — it’s ugly.
Jess
But you’re beautiful.
Leah
Yeah, well — most people don’t have a jagged line running down their cheekbone.
Jess
My second toe is longer than my first, and I have cankles.
Jess
God couldn’t make us perfect. It wouldn’t be fair to all the other ladies out there.
Leah
You don’t have cankles.
Jess
I know. But my feet ARE ugly.
Leah
I don’t know why people think I can’t get my own dates.
Jess
Don’t get all upset.
Jess
This is mainly just because dad likes to have us there for his “family man” image.
Leah
I can’t really blame him for it though—
Leah
They put him under a lot of pressure at that company.
Jess
Yeah. And I mean, he’s always been a pretty awesome dad to us.
Jess
So just come, make an appearance, and then you can leave.
Jess
And if you’re so against meeting someone, maybe you can buy a cat on your way home.
Just then, Leah’s phone dings with a text.
Before Leah can grab it, Jess glances down. Her eyes widen.
Jess
Leah, some man just sent you a picture of his leg.
Leah snatches the phone away from her sister’s prying eyes.
She smiles when she sees the bare leg and athletic shorts.
Jess
‘Friends’ don’t send pictures of bare legs.
Jess
Unless they’re weird.
Leah
Maybe you’ve been married too long.
Jess
But back to your friend.
Leah
He…um…just wants to know if he can um…wear those shorts to the gym.
Jess
I can’t believe you’re lying to your sister now.
Jess
Oh my God, you’re about to have phone sex, aren’t you?
Leah laughs as Jess heads for the door.
Leah
I’m not having phone sex.
Leah
But I’m not buying cats, either.
She waggles her eyes and Jess cringes.
Jess
Oh God. Whatever. I’ll just…let mom know you’re coming to dinner.
After Jess leaves, Leah curls up on the couch with her phone in her hand.
She studies the leg on her phone. It’s long, slightly tanned, and muscular—
Not overly so, but just right.
Rem
I’m flattered that you can tell.
Leah sips on her second glass of wine.
Leah
So you’ve got long legs and a long…
Rem
But I do. I definitely do…
Leah
I should warn you that I’m drinking.
Leah
It’s my turn to send you a picture. I haven’t forgotten.
Leah
What body part would you like to see?
Rem
Leah, don’t do anything you wouldn’t do sober.
Leah
Oh, are you being a gentleman now??
Rem
I’m always a gentleman.
Rem
And though I’m dying to see you, send me something G-rated.
Rem
I don’t want you to regret it tomorrow.
Leah thinks hard, chewing on her lip, and then realizes exactly which photo she should send.
Being careful not to get the edge of her scar in the picture…
She bites her bottom lip, then sends it.
Rem
Are you going for the porn star look?
Rem
Cuz it looks good on you.
Rem
You have very white teeth.
Leah
Says the guy who’s only seen my two front teeth in one pic.
Rem
Ok. The tips of your front teeth are very white.
Leah
I want to send you more tonight, Rem. I suddenly feel…
Rem
You feel drunk, Leah.
Rem
So let’s take a raincheck.
Leah
I don’t know if I should be offended.
Leah
I think you might be one of the last true gentleman left in the world.
Rem
I don’t know about that…
Rem
But I do know that I WILL see more of you someday — and hopefully someday soon.
Rem
And when you do, we will BOTH remember it.
Leah curls up on her bed, and absent-mindedly runs her finger along her cheek.
She wanted to lose her virginity to someone random—
So she wouldn’t have to worry about their opinion of her or need their approval.
But suddenly, she feels that might be impossible.
She’s actually starting to fall for Rem…
