There’s a rumor going around…
That Trevor Holt has the biggest “you-know-what” in school.
And here he is standing outside my dorm room…naked.
Martha
What is wrong with you?!
Trevor
Get out of the way!
I gape at him as he pushes past me into my room.
I get a full view of his butt as he scrambles to the floor and underneath my bed.
Trevor
I’ll explain later.
Trevor
Just don’t tell her I’m in here!
As if on cue, a female voice calls his name from down the hall.
Trevor’s worried face peeks out.
There’s red lipstick smudged around his mouth.
Trevor
I’m desperate…umm…what’s your name again?
We’ve only had three classes together.
Martha
SHE’S gone crazy?!
Martha
You’re the one who—
Trevor
Look, I’ll owe you one.
Trevor
Get rid of her for me…
Trevor
And I’ll do anything.
I pause, considering this.
Trevor is friends with Drew, my longtime crush.
Martha
Oh, what the heck.
Martha
Fine — but tuck in your stupid feet!
He mouths ‘thank you’ and his face disappears again under my bed.
And it’s not a moment too soon, as an angry Tilla James suddenly appears in my doorway.
She’s wearing her signature red lipstick…
The same color I just saw around Trevor’s mouth.
Tilla
I just saw him run down this hallway.
I tap my chin and pretend to be thinking.
Martha
Sorry, I don’t know anyone by that name.
She gives me the once over.
Tilla
Everyone knows who Trevor is.
Even you, her eyes are saying.
Just then, a stifled laugh sounds from under the bed.
Tilla peers over my shoulder.
Martha
I haven’t seen him.
She doesn’t look convinced, so I think fast.
Martha
You’ve got lipstick all over your chin.
Her hand flies to her mouth.
She glares once more over my shoulder, but finally walks away toward the dorm entrance.
I breathe a sigh of relief and shut the door.
My relief is short-lived.
A grinning Trevor crawls out from under my bed.
He’s holding up a pair of my underwear.
Mortified, I run over and snatch them out of his hands.
Trevor stares down in shock at my bed where I had been folding laundry.
Specifically…my underwear.
Trevor
How many of those boner-killers do you own?!
Martha
It’s none of your business!
I shove the rest of them under my blankets.
Then I throw a towel at him without meeting his eyes.
Martha
And for god’s sake, cover yourself up, will you?!
Trevor wraps the towel around his waist, still grinning.
Trevor
Anyway, thanks for getting rid of her.
Trevor
She’s become a bit of a problem.
Still defensive over the underwear, I snap at him.
Martha
Why? Did she ask you for something like honesty?
Martha
Or was it exclusivity she was after?
Martha
Or I know! Something realllyyy scary like commitment.
Trevor
She’s my buddy’s ex-girlfriend.
Trevor
I’m not interested in her in that way.
Trevor
But she won’t get the hint.
Trevor
She just cornered me in the shower.
I’m about to apologize, but Trevor is suddenly smiling again.
I notice a small dimple by his lip.
Trevor
So what will it be?
Trevor
I said I owe you one and I’m a man of my word.
My stomach instantly fills with butterflies.
Will I actually be able to tell him about Drew?
He’ll probably just laugh at me.
I stall, walking over to the turtleneck sweater dress I have hanging up.
Martha
Well…as you know, the end-of-the-year parties are tonight.
He looks over at my dress.
Trevor
And please, tell me you’re not wearing that.
Offended, my eyes cut to his.
He holds up his hands in surrender.
Martha
So, this is my last chance to tell a guy I really like how I feel.
Martha
He graduates this year.
Trevor
And what do you want me to do?
Trevor
Give you advice or something?
This is your last chance, Martha!
Martha
Not exactly advice but…
Martha
It’d be great if you could put in a good word for me.
Trevor
Why would he care about what I have to say?
Martha
Because you guys are on the football team together.
His eyebrows shoot up in surprise.
Trevor
So you want to tell one of the football players that you like him?
Trevor
And you’re planning to wear THAT?
Trevor
Come on Martha, you seem smarter than that.
Trevor
Those guys only go for one type of girl.
He gestures to the dress.
Trevor
Girls that don’t dress like nuns for starters.
His words make my stomach sink.
I can feel my cheeks flooding with color.
Trusting him is the stupidest thing I’ve ever done.
I hang the dress back up angrily.
Martha
Get out of my room, Trevor.
Martha
Let’s just forget this whole thing.
I turn away so he won’t see how much his words have bothered me.
I hear him blow out a breath.
Trevor
Look, I didn’t mean to insult you.
Trevor
I’m an idiot and have a habit of saying things the wrong way.
Trevor
I just meant that that dress doesn’t really…play up your assets.
I don’t reveal that my mom told me the exact same thing the other day.
I look at the dress and frown.
Maybe they both have a point.
Trevor
Tell me who it is.
I don’t want to tell him.
But maybe if he tells me I have no chance with Drew…
I can finally get over this asinine crush.
I take a deep breath and meet his eyes.
Martha
It’s Drew Longhorn.
To my surprise, Trevor looks disappointed.
Martha
We were lab partners in chemistry my freshman year.
Martha
We haven’t talked much since then but…
Martha
We worked together really well.
Martha
He was nice to me.
Trevor scrutinizes me but doesn’t say anything.
Trevor
You want to get Drew’s attention?
Trevor
We’ll get his attention.
My heart starts beating fast.
Martha
Because if you’re messing with me—
Trevor
You need to trust me.
I cross my arms, a little wary, but I nod.
Trevor
First…you show up to the parties with me.
Trevor
Everyone will notice you if you’re on my arm.
I resist the urge to gag over his supreme egotism.
Trevor
SECOND, we need to go shopping.
Trevor
Because I’m sorry, but you’re not wearing that.
He leads me out into the hallway and up to his room on the second floor.
He’s still wearing my towel and nothing else.
I stand in his doorway and watch him pull a box from his closet.
It’s a box of women’s clothing.
Martha
Where did you get all those?
Trevor
I call it my “one-night-stand” box.
Trevor
Now take your pick.
