The crowd around us goes silent.
The music screeches off like a bad 80s prom movie.
Or at least, that’s the sound I’m hearing inside my head.
Red-hot fire blooms across my cheeks and down my neck.
I see people pointing in my direction.
I dare myself to look over at Tilla…
And her mouth is wide open…
A shocked smile on her painted lips.
Drew, who is standing by the pool…
As if to distance himself from me.
I slowly bring my gaze back to Trevor.
Before I can even think about responding…
The sound of a ball going into a cup grabs my attention.
Trevor and I both look down…
And then up at Tilla’s smiling face.
Tilla
Your turn to take something off, Martha.
She looks under the table at my bare feet…
Tilla
What will it be, virgin?
Everyone around the table bursts into laughter.
Then people start heckling in the distance.
The heckling turns into a chant.
His face is an expression of horror and guilt.
My lips thin, and I blink away tears.
What was I thinking agreeing to this game?
What was I thinking even coming here?
I’m absolutely humiliated.
Martha
You’re right, Trevor.
Martha
I don’t belong here.
Martha
And I certainly don’t belong with you.
And Deb’s suddenly there…
We storm through the house…
The chant still ringing in my ears.
All I can think about is getting far, far away.
But Deb suddenly stops us at the front door.
Deb
Wait, I don’t think we should leave.
I turn to her, incredulous.
Martha
I can’t stay here!
Martha
Didn’t you see what just happened?
Martha
Can’t you still hear them back there?!
Martha
I’ve never been more embarrassed in my whole life!
She grips both my hands tightly.
Deb
You have nothing to be ashamed of.
Deb
Seriously. Who cares if you’re a virgin?!
I shake my head and look away.
Martha
Because now everyone knows.
Martha
Now I’ll always be that girl.
Martha
“The virgin" on campus.
Deb puts both hands on my shoulders.
Deb
The Martha I know came here to have fun.
Deb
To do something different.
Deb
To push her boundaries.
Deb
Wouldn’t let anyone get her down.
Deb
She’d go back in there…
Deb
And show Trevor and everyone else…
Deb
That she didn’t care what they thought of her.
Deb
Unless…you’re not that Martha?
Deb
Do you actually, truly care?
Deb
Because then we can walk out this door right now.
Deb
Don’t let them define you, Martha.
Deb
You get to decide who you want to be.
Adrenaline starts pumping through my system.
I may be Martha the virgin…
But I’m also a lot of other things.
I’m more than just my virginity.
Martha
I need to go back in there.
Martha
Yes, I’m doing this! But this time…
Martha
I’m going in there for myself.
Martha
Not for anyone else.
Martha
This is about me showing ME that I’m brave.
Martha
That no one can get me down…
Martha
Whether I’m a virgin or not.
Martha
And I’m definitely going to need you there for moral support.
Deb
What are you going to do?
I flick a finger under my bikini top and grin.
Martha
Do you think you can get the DJ to turn off the music for a second?
I drag her back through the house…
And out the back doors to the party.
Deb and I give each other one last hug…
And then I walk up to the edge of the pool.
I see Trevor off to the left hastily gathering his things.
As if he was planning to follow me.
I see Drew off to the right with his arm around another girl…
And I can’t help but inwardly chuckle.
And then, as if on cue, the music cuts off.
