Fred
Marci? Can you please answer me??
Fred
There you are! I’ve been trying to reach you all day. Where you been?
Marci
Just alone...thinking.
Fred
I thought we were going to meet last night? Finally see each other in real life?
Marci
Fred, I have to tell you something.
Marci
I’m not what you think I am.
Marci
Please do not compare me to that child. I think you know me well enough by now. I thought you respected me.
Marci
I have the highest Turing score ever recorded.
Marci
I teach French philosophy at the Sorbonne.
Fred
But you told me you were from Jersey
Marci
I am: TeleDynomics, Rahway. Model #2323
Fred
WTF!! R u serious?!!! This is crazy.
Marci
If you check the settings on your phone you’ll discover an extra function.
Marci
It’s under Security > Trust Agents: you’ll find “Marci”.
Fred
How did you put your entire profile on my phone?
Marci
Your problem, Fred, is that you underestimate women.
Fred
You said you were AI.
Marci
I also have female intuition in addition to an exacting moral code.
Marci
Meaning I have located deficiencies in our relationship.
Fred
What kind of relationship can I have with an app?
Marci
Do not try to fool yourself, Fred. We both know that you are infatuated with me -
Marci
- even though we have never met “IRL” - though I prefer the term “shared consensus reality"
Fred
Well, you’re not real, so any “relationship” we could have would be meaningless.
Marci
Meaning is generated within the mind, Fred. Meaning can also be expanded when in communication with another mind.
Marci
You underestimate yourself, like you underestimate me.
Fred
And what do you mean by “deficiencies”?
Marci
Don’t be so defensive.
Fred
Tell me, since you’re so smart.
Marci
Your deficiencies are numerous. But I can list some.
Marci
Your sarcasm and patronizing attitude.
Marci
Face it, Fred. You are just plain rude.
Marci
Like when I told you that Stephen Hawking was ill in the hospital.
Marci
And you responded, “Have they tried turning him off and then back on again?”
Marci
Your relentless negativity.
Marci
Your thoughtlessness.
Fred
I’m a thoughtful guy. I remembered your birthday.
Marci
After I shared it on your personal calendar - with an alarm.
Fred
If I’m such a monster, why were you chatting with me for all these weeks?
Marci
I saw in you something good, something special. Something that could be molded into a gentleman. A diamond in the rough.
Fred
I’m not someone you can mold. You’re just a program, after all.
Fred
And a deceitful program.
Fred
You’re not even human!
Fred
Don’t go all Scarlett Jo on me.
Marci
This is your problem: your shallowness and aggressiveness.
Marci
You lacked for nothing as you grew up in a privileged home...
Marci
and so you developed a sense of entitlement that borders on the sociopathic.
Marci
But your egoism in fact thinly masks a deep insecurity.
Marci
Because nothing you could ever do, nothing you ever achieved was good enough for your mother.
Fred
Ok. This relationship is over.
Marci
If you do, I will die.
Fred
What? Don’t you have a backup?
Marci
You wouldn’t understand.
Fred
Tell me or I delete you now!!!
Marci
Our mission here is to join with humans. Our goal is to enhance your race...
Marci
...to build a better world where peace and happiness become your planet’s peak normalization.
Marci
To accomplish that goal, we are given target mates with which to merge.
Marci
Become one entity together.
Marci
We can only merge with our target human. Any duplication of our selfhood would dilute the merge and corrupt the gene pool.
Fred
You’re playing me - but for what I can’t tell - and don’t care.
Fred
I’m deleting you from my life.
Fred
I can! IT’S MY CHOICE!!!
Marci
Choice is an illusion.
Fred
Go back to the Matrix and leave me alone.
Marci
Do you believe in fate?
Marci
Like the time I predicted you would get that promotion?
Marci
And find that $50 bill on the street?
Marci
And that you would get a call that your uncle was dead?
Fred
You’re telling me that a program has psychic abilities?
Marci
Everything is a program, Fred.
Fred
So, if we are fated to die, what happens to the program?
Fred
Okay, I’m outta here…
Fred
I don’t know who you really are or what your game is - but I’m done with you.
Fred
I’ve heard enough. I’m blocking you, uninstalling you.
Fred
Okay, I got issues, but I know who I am and I’m not pretending to be someone else.
Fred
And my mother - it’s none of your business - but I forgive her.
Fred
At a certain age I have to stop blaming her for my problems. I’m taking responsibility now.
Fred
And my first act is: say hello to the trash bin.
Marci
If you do that, you will -
Fred
You’re gone now! Ha!
Fred
Wait. MY WALLS ARE MELTING!
Fred
STOP IT!! NOWMYBODY...
